Unopened Letters
by sugarangelcookies
Summary: "I haven't left the house. I haven't even left the kitchen except to go to the small bathroom a few steps off of it. I'm in the same clothes I left the Capitol in. What I do is sit by the fire. Stare at the unopened letters piling up on the mantel." Set in Mockingjay, pre-epilogue. Katniss reads the once unopened letters written by Peeta.
1. The First Letter

The First Letter

* * *

_"I haven't left the house. I haven't even left the kitchen except to go to the small bathroom a few steps off of it. I'm in the same clothes I left the Capitol in. What I do is sit by the fire. Stare at the unopened letters piling up on the mantel."_

* * *

I sit on my sofa, staring off into space when I hear someone. Haymitch. He bursts into my house, startling me. I look up and he is holding a pile of letters. "The boy wrote them to you while he was in District 13 and in the Capitol," he grunts. Haymitch places them on the mantel. "I expect you'll read them soon. The boy still cares about you." He walks out of the house, leaving me entangled with my own thoughts. I sit there, on the sofa, unmoving.

* * *

Hours pass and I decide to read a letter, only because Peeta wrote them. I look up and walk towards the mantel. Picking up the stack of letters, I take the first off the pile and rip it open. Once again, my hands have ruined a once perfect item. Just like Peeta. Just like everything I owned. Just like everyone I loved. Slowly, I take the letter out of its ruined envelope and begin to read it.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Dr. Aurelius told me to write letters to you, as a part of my therapy. I can't exactly talk to you since last time I saw you I attempted to strangle you. So, I'm writing letters. How are you doing? I'm not doing well. I am so confused. Everyone tells me you aren't a mutt, but I'm so confident that you are one. Dr. Aurelius told me I shouldn't have tried to kill you. Why shouldn't I? You killed so many, you destroyed District 12, and you left my family dead. Dr. Aurelius says that isn't true. He says you saved so many and that the Capitol destroyed District 12. He also told me that the Capitol is the enemy, that they made me hate you. He also said that I loved you, for my whole life. I don't know if I should believe him or not. Dr. Aurelius says maybe I should ask you, when I get a little better. He says it will feel better, hearing it from you. But I don't know if I should trust you. I can't trust you. Did I really love you? Did you really love me? What happened, Katniss? Why can't I figure out my own thoughts?_

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I sit back on the couch, feeling even worse than usual, if that was possible. I don't understand the Capitol. I never will. Why would they torture Peeta, out of all people? Peeta is so selfless, so kind, and so loving. I am selfish, mean, and a murderer. The Capitol should've tortured and captured me. Peeta doesn't deserve any form of punishment. I do.

* * *

**A/N: A couple of lines in Mockingjay have inspired this story (chapter 27, page 381, hardback copy). If you don't understand the "switching from letters to reality" part – feel free to PM me. To clarify (even more) between the letters and reality, I put the letters in italics.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy or any of the characters in it, Suzanne Collins does.**


	2. Flooding Memories

Flooding Memories

* * *

_"We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction."_

* * *

I walk to the study room, trying to find my bow; Greasy Sae suggested to go hunting today and I said I would try. As I walk, I think of what Plutarch said to me before he left for District 3, with Beetee. Plutarch won't ever get it, will he? He won't ever know how a tribute feels in the arena. He won't ever know how it feels to handle gruesome nightmares every day, and the lives of your family and friends on your hands. Even now, he still treats me like some puppet, asking me to join him on his singing program.

I freeze at the doorway of the study room. I step in, with as little noise as possible, as if to tell the ghosts of my haunted past I am merely visiting. Everything that terrifies me, everything that haunts me, lives in this room. President Snow and his words of threat lay here. My father's hunting jacket and my parent's wedding photo sit on the table along with the bows and a sheath of arrows that Gale had saved on the night I blew up the force field. The spile in the clock-arena that saved my life, Finnick's life, Mags' life, Johanna's life, Peeta's life, Wiress' life, and Beetee's life. But only for a while, now Finnick is gone, Mags is gone, Wiress is gone, and I am pretty much gone. My eyes spot the two items I fear the most, the locket and the pearl. I close my eyes, trying to block the memories that want to flood through my mind.

I snatch my father's hunting jacket and I run out of the room. I flee to the sofa, only to remind myself of the horrors that stalk me every night.

* * *

I wake up, still delusional from my nightmare, and decide to face another one of my fears, reading a letter from Peeta. I open the envelope, trying not to destroy another one of Peeta's gifts. I begin to read the words of the boy with a golden tongue.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Dr. Aurelius explained why I am so confused. He said the Capitol took clips of the Games and changed them so I would hate you. Why would they want me to hate you? Is it because they want me to kill you? Katniss, I still can't believe what I am seeing on the screen. You seem so different from the Katniss the Capitol showed me. But, I still don't know if you are a mutt or not. Are you? I still feel hatred towards you. Dr. Aurelius says I am showing improvement. I don't know the difference between right or wrong now. What's wrong with me?_

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

There's a second letter in the envelope, also from Peeta. I open it, only expecting his thoughts of confusion and hatred towards me.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Delly came today. She tried to explain to me you aren't a mutt. But, you are. You tried to kill me in the arena. She tried to steer clear of the topic of you destroying District 12. But, I know what happened. You killed my family. Dr. Aurelius keeps trying to tell me it's not true, but I know it is. Dr. Aurelius showed me a clip of the "real" 74th Hunger Games, our first one. It was the one where you dropped the tracker jackers on me. Why would you do that? I was trying to save you, according to Dr. Aurelius. But, Dr. Aurelius says you didn't know I was trying to help you. He says you thought I was trying to kill you. I still don't believe him. Maybe Dr. Aurelius is right; it will feel better coming from you. I hope I can talk to you later._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I don't know what to think. I flee the house and just when I feel slightly better, I see the boy who I never thought I would see again.

* * *

**A/N: I want to say three things today. I want to thank all the people who reviewed, followed, read this story, and put this on their favorites. I think it's a bit absurd – since there was only one chapter and it was really short. Anyways, thank you so much! The second thing I want to say is that I have realized that Peeta is a bit OOC in his letter, as Peeta spends most of his time in Mockingjay being homicidal/suicidal. In his letters, he doesn't appear (too) homicidal/suicidal. I am supposing Peeta is writing the letters while being monitored by doctors, so he won't write anything too outrageous. My last thing to say is that for the first few chapters, I will be following Mockingjay a little. When the story gets a little vague, I will be truly filling in the spots Collins' didn't mention (not bad-mouthing her, just telling you what I am planning). And thank you all again :)**


	3. Remembering Her

Remembering Her

* * *

_"Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all of my resolve disintegrates. It's my job to protect her... I can't let the Capitol hurt her."_

* * *

A boy with blonde hair and a striking pair of blue eyes is walking towards me. Peeta. Why is he here? Shouldn't he be in the Capitol? My mind doesn't answer the questions floating around the brain; it can only focus on the boy with the bread, who had miraculously appeared in my garden while pushing a rusty wheelbarrow with five bushes.

The only words I can utter out of my mouth are _"You're back."_

"I left the Capitol yesterday, Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me leave any sooner. By the way, he says you have to answer his calls, you can't keep pretending that you don't need therapy."

"I know," I mutter.

I let my eyes take a good look at Peeta. He looks better than before, not necessarily healthy, but his eyes have returned to his old crystal blue. Peeta looks like he is examining me, as I am doing with him, but his mouth is frowning slightly as he looks me over. I feel frustrated; he knows exactly what I have been through. _"What are you doing?"_ I ask.

"Planting. I went to the woods, to find these. Maybe we can plant them here, at your house, for her."

Primroses. Maybe Peeta does care. I run back to my house, not knowing what to say, and open up yet another envelope on the stack of letters Haymitch gave me.

* * *

I begin to read.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Dr. Aurelius told me right after I talked with Delly, you left. Were you listening? If you were listening, I'm glad. You know how I feel about you now. Why did you leave, though? Were you mad at me? Did you want to help fuel the rebellion? When word got around that you left, Prim cried._

I stop reading. How dare Peeta bring up Prim? My lovely, caring sister is dead, can he be that heartless? Then I realize, Prim was still alive then. I continue reading.

_Gale wants to go to District 2 with you. He said he wants to help you. I got angry when Gale said he wanted to help you in District 2. Dr. Aurelius said that is a sign of jealousy, which is apparently good in my case. He says that the jealousy shows that I still care for you. I don't believe it. But, there is no other explanation of why I got angry. Please help, Katniss._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I think of what Haymitch said to me in District 13. _"You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. But I think it's time you flipped this little scenario in your head. If you'd been taken by the Capitol, and hijacked, and then tried to kill Peeta, is this the way he would be treating you?"_ Peeta wouldn't have left me; he would've stayed, trying to help me. I fold up the letter and go upstairs. In my room, on my dresser, lays a white rose that still perfumes the air. Now I will destroy the rose made by the man that has caused everything and everybody I love to suffer.

* * *

**A/N: I want to make two things clarified in this story. The first thing I want to clarify is that Katniss is reading the letters from the pile of letters Haymitch gave her. If there are any new letters, I will clarify it. The second thing I want to clarify is in this chapter. The quotes "You're back" and "What are you doing here?" are only in this story because I couldn't think of anything else that means the same thing. Sure, I could have said "Why are you here?" (for "What are you doing here?") but that means a slightly different thing. I just want to say (again) that I do not own any of the Hunger Games trilogy. Thanks for reading :) **


	4. Another Chance

Another Chance

* * *

_"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."_

* * *

I pick up the white rose with disgust, holding it with only my fingertips. I walk downstairs towards the fireplace. A few embers are left, but they are enough to destroy the rose. I drop it into the fireplace and wait greedily for the fire to burn the artificial flower. Flames rise from the fireplace, devouring the rose whole.

I rush back upstairs. Determined to remove every last scent the white rose has left, I throw open windows, letting the wind carry the unnatural fragrance away from my home. But, I feel the scent is still here. It stays with me, absorbing into my clothes and skin. I take a shower and let the remains of the rose flow down the drain. Now clean, I find something to wear. I choose an olive-green tunic, dark brown pants, my father's hunting jacket, and my usual leather lace-up boots. My outfit reminds me of the woods and the days before I went into the Games.

* * *

Downstairs, Greasy Sae lets herself in and starts to make breakfast. I rush down, wanting to tell her my plans for the day.

Over breakfast, I ask Greasy Sae, "What's Gale doing now?"

She replies, "He got some fancy Capitol job in District 2. He's on television once and while."

I ponder over this for a while. I don't hatred, love, or even anger for when I hear this. Instead, I feel the strange emotion of solace. It feels strange to feel such a happy thought with all this distress around me.

I tell Greasy Sae, "I think I'll go hunting today."

"Well, it looks nice today and I haven't had a bit of fresh meat for a while," she remarks.

* * *

Before I go hunting, I want to do one last thing. I want to read a letter. I take a letter off the pile and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Everyone tells me that I am doing a good job of getting better. I can feed myself pudding. I can talk for a couple of minutes without getting angry. I can walk a little. They are trying to convince me that you aren't a mutt. I think I believe them. But, I am still confused on why you dropped the tracker jackers on me in our first games. Even now, when I am getting "better", you still looked like you wanted to kill me. But, everything else you did for me makes up for that. According to the tapes, you healed me, risked your life for me, wanted to die for me, cried for me, and just helped me so much. But, I don't know if I can believe that all at once. It's still a lot to take in. What was real in the Hunger Games? And by that, I mean your feelings. Apparently, my love for you was real but was your "love" real? The doctors won't tell me. I still don't know what's "real" and what's "not real". Katniss, I still am mad at you. No matter what you did for me, you still deceived me of your love. Some of your kisses didn't look genuine, but mine's always did. But, I still want to see you. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

The fresh, happy start I had on my day has disappeared. I only feel remorse and longing now. I wish I had never abandoned Peeta. I should have helped him, and talked with him. I should have discussed how to help Peeta with Dr. Aurelius. I realize something. I can still help. I'll give Peeta another chance, and I'll give myself another chance. But first, I'll need the help of a certain blue-eyed blond-haired boy.


	5. The Odds Were Never In Our Favor

The Odds Were Never In Our Favor

* * *

_"And may the odds be ever in your favor."_

* * *

With my bow in hand, I swing my sheath of arrows over my back and head out the door. Today is the kind of day the old Katniss would love. A day full of hunting and no worries at hand. But the old Katniss gone, and once in a while she will return, but for the most part, she is gone. Maybe I can bring her back. Not for good, that's impossible, considering what I've gone through, but maybe the old Katniss can return more often.

* * *

I walk to the Meadow, wanting to leave for the forest there. I stop when see scores of people, masked and gloved, treading in the snow with their horse-drawn carts.

One of the carts is in front of the mayor's home. I see one person I know over there. Thom, Gale's old mining buddy, stops working for a second to smile and wave. He must've come back for District 13. Thom's warm smile gives me the bravery to ask, "Anybody left in there?"

Thom replies, "The whole family plus the two people who worked day and night for them."

I bow my head down in shame. Madge, who was so brave and kind, who had given me the Mockingjay pin that had started this whole rebellion, who had already lost an aunt, didn't deserve this treatment. She's another one of the forced sacrifices made in this terrible war.

"I thought, maybe, just maybe, they would make it out. He _was_ the mayor…"

"Being the mayor of Twelve doesn't necessarily put the odds in your favor. Actually, the odds are never really in your favor," says Thom.

* * *

I think about that for a while as I make my way to the woods. I try to take my mind off the dead laying in the Meadow and try to think about what Thom had said. The Capitol had said the odds were in my favors. They weren't. The Capitol had forced me into an arena with the boy who loved me, gave me nightmares to deal with every day, threatened me with the death of my loved ones, put me in the arena a second time, and handed me a hijacked Peeta. The odds will never really be in my favor, will they?

There is too much is going on in my head for me to focus on hunting. I stand in the woods with nothing to do. I think about heading over to the lake but I don't have the energy to do so. I reach into my knapsack and pull out a letter. I begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today they showed me a tape of you and I in a cave, talking about a goat. The doctors shot something in my arm. I don't know what it was, but it made me calm. But it didn't make me calm enough to erase the fact that I am really confused. I thought that in the cave, you tried to kill me. But in the tape the doctors showed me, we both seemed happy and you never tried to kill me. After I had watched the video, I stopped talking. __I was thinking of what I "knew" about the cave and the cave in the tape. It's so contrasting and different. The cave scene in the tape seems too good to even be true. _I asked the doctors about the goat. No one gave me a response. Maybe you can tell me. Please come back to District 13 soon. I want to talk to you.

_Sincerely, Peeta_

Thom was right. The odds were never in our favor. They certainly weren't in Peeta's favor, seeing that he has been through all that I have, plus the girl he had loved his entire life was only pretending to love him and the Capitol had tortured him to the point of near insanity. Who knew so much thinking could come out of a simple nine words?

* * *

**A/N: Wow. Thanks so much for all the support I have been given! Every review, favorite, and follow means so much. This sounds really cliché, doesn't it? Well, it's true. Thanks again :) **


	6. Never Coming Back

Never Coming Back

* * *

_"Sitting at Prim's knees, guarding her, is the world's ugliest cat. Mashed-in nose, half of one ear missing, eyes the color of rotting squash. Prim named him Buttercup, insisting that his muddy yellow coat matched the bright flower."_

* * *

The happiness and burst of sudden energy I had back at the Victor's Village is gone. I feel dizzy and nauseous. When I make it back to the fence, I can barely stand up. Luckily, Thom is nearby to help me get back home. I end up riding in the cart that the dead people once laid in. After what seems like hours, I make it back to the Victor's Village, collapsing on the couch.

* * *

Out of nowhere, a hiss comes. I know who's hiss this is but I cannot believe it. I look around and my eyes lay on an extremely ugly cat. Prim's cat. How is Buttercup even here? Did he walk back? He must have, otherwise he couldn't have gotten here. The visible bones sticking out and the claw marks suggest that he had walked home, with attackers stalking him and no food. Buttercup was probably looking for Prim.

I hiss at the cat, "You shouldn't have bothered coming here. She's gone. Prim's not here." At the sound of her name, Buttercup's ears stick up and his eyes glow a little brighter. He starts to mew and his eyes scan the room, like a hungry lion. "Leave!" I scream at him. "She's never coming back. No matter how much you mew. She's dead. Dead." My voice starts to crack at the last couple of words and the tears start falling. Buttercup seems to understand what is happening and stays with me. He sits there; guarding me, as I cry, sob after sob. Eventually, he sits next to me.

* * *

I stop crying. I know Prim would've wanted me to move on. She would've wanted me to help Peeta and live a good life. Selfless Prim, always thinking of others, is now gone forever. I decide to read a letter. Prim would've wanted me to, anyways. I take the first letter off the stack and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today Annie came to visit me. She was quiet, shy, and understanding, the opposite of you. The doctors told me today that I volunteered for Haymitch in the Quarter Quell because I wanted to save you. Haymitch then told me you wanted to save me. I think you should've been more understanding because if I had died and you were the victor, then I wouldn't be hijacked and you would be better off, without me. You knew though, that I wanted to save you. Why wouldn't you let me save you? I thought you were only pretending to love me. You could've had a happier life without me. You could've married Gale, which you would have until I came along, and had children who would've filled your every joy. I talked to Annie. I asked her how it feels to be in love. She said it's almost like an obsession; you just can't stop thinking about that person. Finnick is perfect for Annie, understanding her every need. They're in love and should never be torn apart. Were we once that way, madly in love? Katniss, I'm still confused and I hope you can come back soon. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Peeta doesn't understand, does he? I could never live without the boy with the bread. I will also _never_ marry anyone, especially Gale, and I will _never_ bear children. I will get too attached to my children or husband, and if they die in my lifetime, I'll be even more broken than I am now. I miss Peeta so much. The tears almost threaten to come back but I try to stay strong. For Prim, and now Peeta. I walk upstairs with Buttercup following me, and go to sleep. The last thing I see is the bright yellow eyes of Buttercup scanning the room, protecting me from every harm.

* * *

**A/N: Once again, thank you for reading! Next week, I am not able to update daily because I will be rafting (and camping one night) for the entire week. I will try to write some chapters beforehand so you can read them throughout the week, but I am not sure what will happen. The week after that, I will try to update daily, as I am doing now. Thank you so much and I hope you all have a wonderful day! **


	7. Together

Together

* * *

_"We both end up crying again, only this time we comfort each other."_

* * *

When I wake up, the sunlight is already streaming through the windows. Buttercup is still lying on the bed. I coax him out of bed and I attempt to get the thorn in his paw out. After many hisses and desperate mews, the thorn is gone. Buttercup and I seem to remember Prim's outstanding healing skills and end up in another round of tears. But this time, we comfort each other.

* * *

Feeling stronger, I open a letter my mother sent me and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss, _

_It has been a long time since we have gained some sort of relationship. I would like to try now, if you are willing to. I know it's a hard time, considering Prim is gone, but I think we should give it a chance. Katniss, I'm sorry I left you after your father died. I shouldn't have, but it made you stronger Katniss. You could survive and live. If you hadn't learned the skills of archery, you might've not been with us today. Katniss, you are the person I never was. You were the mother I never was. If you would like, you should call me sometime. I'll be there for you._

_Love, Mother_

* * *

_"I'll be there for you." _Now she's here for me. She wasn't here for me when my father died. I had to survive, relying on my own skills. I am angry that she left us in our time of need. But, I realize this kind of depression isn't one you can overcome so easily. I know this; I am going through it myself. Looking at the number on the paper, I call my mother.

The voice on the other end says, "Hello?"

"It's me. Katniss."

"I never thought you would call, I thought you were still coping with…" my mother trails off.

At the mere thought of Prim, I start weeping.

I manage to sputter out, "She… she's gone…"

My mother begins to weep, too.

Together, we weep for what seems like hours. We comfort each other, knowing that we are in the same situation.

There's a knock on the door. I wipe my tears and say into the phone, "I have to go now. Someone's here."

"Goodbye, Katniss. Please come visit District 4 sometime," my mother replies.

* * *

And with that, the phone line goes dead and I go answer the door.

Peeta and Greasy Sae are there.

"Hello," Peeta says, "I made this for you." He is holding a loaf of bread.

"Thanks…" I reply, not looking into Peeta's eyes. Without complaint, I let the two of them in.

* * *

Greasy Sae makes breakfast while Peeta and I sit at the counter.

"What have you been doing so far?" Peeta asks.

Crying. Sleeping. Mourning. Occasionally eating. I can't tell Peeta this so I lie. "Oh, you know the usual," I nonchalantly say.

Peeta raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask any further.

* * *

After a few minutes of awkward silence, breakfast is ready. We feast on eggs, bacon, and Peeta's still warm-bread. I feed Buttercup, who has eyed the food for the last couple of minutes, some bacon.

When all the food is gone, Peeta leaves. I wave goodbye to him as he crosses the yard to his house and he waves back.

* * *

"You know, I think the boy still likes you," Greasy Sae remarks as she washes the dishes.

I don't reply, already wallowed in my own thoughts.

Maybe Peeta can get better. Maybe I can get better. Together, we just might get better.


	8. Living in the Present

Living in the Present

* * *

_"Slowly, with many lost days, I come back to life."_

* * *

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am back in District 12. Peeta is back, too. He and Greasy Sae joined me for breakfast yesterday. Haymitch is drunken, as usual. I am getting better. Or at least, I am trying to get better.

I start my therapy, officially. In an attempt to get better, I decide to start picking up Dr. Aurelius' calls. I go through the motions Dr. Aurelius says to do. I repeat what I know and what I feel in my mind, constantly. I reminiscence about the times I lived before the Games.

* * *

The phone rings, shaking me out of my thoughts. I pick it up.

"Is this Katniss? It is Dr. Aurelius," the voice on the phone says.

"Yes."

"How are you doing? What have you been doing?"

I think about yesterday's breakfast and reply, "Yesterday Peeta and Greasy Sae came over for breakfast."

"Good. Remember to keep repeating those motions in your mind. Think about the present, not the past. You can't change the past. And keep reading those letters. I'll call you next week, Katniss. Goodbye."

"Bye," I say.

* * *

Whatever phone calls we have are short, but they still count as the "therapy" the Capitol has assigned me. I look to my left. Sitting beside me is a pile of letters. From Peeta. I open the first one up.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Finnick dropped by today. He asked me how I was doing. I said terrible. Finnick asked why. I didn't know why. Finnick said he was doing fine. How are you doing? You're still in District 2. With Gale. Beetee left too, to join you. What are you three planning? Something for the rebellion? Back in District 13, everything is the same. I'm still on my therapy, everyone is still following their schedules, and you are still away. Plutarch says I'm getting better, but I know I'm not. I guess I'm better enough to know I'm not getting better. Does that even make sense? Please come back soon Katniss._

_Sincerely, Peeta._

* * *

No matter how much therapy Peeta and I take, we'll still never get better. The Capitol has scarred us forever, inside and out. Scars nearly overlap each other on my body. Memories of the arena still stick in my mind and morph into something _even more_ inhumane in my nightmares.

I am still young, but I feel like I have lived a lifetime. I wish I could turn back the clock and change so many things. I wish I could've thanked Peeta for the bread when we were at school. I wish I could've swallowed the berries in the 74th Games. I wish I could've died in the Quarter Quell so Peeta could live a carefree, tracker-jacker free life. I wish I could've saved Prim. But, as Dr. Aurelius says, the past is the past, and we are living in the present.

* * *

**A/N: I am so sorry that I didn't update this week (except for once). I was really busy. Well, I hope this chapter makes it up. In a week, school starts, so I won't updating as much. Anyways, thanks for reading! **


	9. One Step at a Time

One Step at a Time

* * *

_"Forget your woes and let your troubles lay and when it's morning again, they'll wash away."_

* * *

I wake up, feeling the unusual sensation of happiness. Walking downstairs, I see there is no one there. I suppose Greasy Sae thinks I'm better enough to do things on my own. I don't want to be alone though; I want to share this day with someone else, like Peeta.

The walk over to Peeta's house is short; we are neighbors, after all. The door opens without a hesitation, it's unlocked, as usual. Peeta seems to never lock his door, for some strange reason. I walk in and the house fills with a trembling silence.

"Hello?" I call out.

No response.

I try again, "Peeta? Are you here?"

"Mutt… get away from me," comes from a room nearby.

* * *

I walk into the room where I heard the sound come from, expecting a hijacked and homicidal Peeta. Peeta is there. He seems oddly calm but his eyes have been glazed with an unnatural blue. His hands are gripping on the windowsill.

"Peeta?" I whisper softly.

He seems to flash back to his old self momentarily and croaks, "Go… before you get hurt."

"No," I reply, "I'm staying with you."

"Mutt… You destroyed District 12. I hate you," growls Peeta.

I look back at him, unmoving. "The Capitol destroyed District 12. I'm not a mutt. You don't hate me," I say.

"Yes, I do. I want to… kill you."

"Peeta, Peeta. It's Katniss. The girl you loved. I'm not a mutt. The Capitol did this all to you," I whisper.

His hand reaches towards my shoulder and grips it tightly. Pain rushes through my arm, but I shake it off.

Peeta's eyes turn to his normal sky blue. The ends of my lips turn up a little.

* * *

"Katniss," he croaks, "Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head.

"Go," Peeta says, "Before I do."

I shake my head.

"Please, Katniss. For me. I don't want you to get hurt," Peeta begs.

Without a word, I walk out the door. Why is Peeta so selfless? How could anyone love a creature like me?

* * *

When I get home, I flop on the couch and open a letter. Reading the letters from Peeta seems a bit like a habit now. I begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today the doctors showed me a clip of you singing "The Hanging Tree." I recognize it. One time, your father came to the bakery to trade, when I was six or seven. I listened to the birds, to see if they would stop singing, like my father said they would. They did. Your dad was a nice man. I'm sorry he died. What are you doing in District 2? I overheard the doctors saying that you three planned an explosion. A mine explosion, I suppose. Like the one your father died in? Why would you plan such a thing, if you know how it feels on the other end? Come home soon, Katniss. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

My heart fills with anger and frustration. Peeta knows I would never want people to experience the same devastation as I did. I wish I could tell him and pour out my heart now. But, Peeta doesn't want me to get hurt. What's hurting me is that he won't let me help him. I wish I could.

But for now, we just have to take one step at a time. Just one step at a time.


	10. Each Other

Each Other

* * *

_"Because that's what you and I do, protect each other."_

* * *

I walk out the door, ready for another day of hunting, when I see Peeta coming towards me. I stop walking and wait for him.

"Wait, Katniss," Peeta says, "Don't go yet, can I come with you?"

Peeta wants to come with me. To the woods. To go hunting? He'll be too noisy. But I can't reject his offer, so I nonchalantly reply, "Sure."

Peeta's face immediately lights up in a smile I am sure I haven't seen in ages. We walk together, out the Victor's Village, through the town square, and to the woods. When we're at the brim of the forest, Peeta asks, "Where's the fence?"

"They took it down," I say without even looking at him.

"Oh."

Maybe, instead of hunting, we can go to the lake. I haven't took anyone to the lake before, besides Gale, but that didn't count. That was to talk with Gale. I'm with Peeta now.

* * *

We hike the long trek over to the lake, but when we get there, Peeta's smile makes the walk worth it. His eyes sparkle and smile seems to spread across his whole face.

We sit together, by the lake, with our feet in the water.

"You know, Haymitch told me that you've been reading those letters of mine," Peeta says out of nowhere.

I freeze. I can't think of anything to say, so I reply with a short, "Oh."

"You should know that I don't think you're a fire-breathing mutt anymore," Peeta says, with a slight grin.

I reply sarcastically, "I never knew…"

The walk home is full of laughs and sarcasm. Peeta and I are growing back together. Slowly, but surely.

* * *

Back at home, I shower, eat, and get ready for bed. But there's one thing that is missing from today. A letter. As soon as I realize this, I race downstairs.

I pick up a letter from the stack and start reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_You got shot on television. Today, we watched you in District 2. So you did blow up the mines. You also made a speech. You can really convince people, you know. Or at least some people. You're not bad with words, I suppose. I'm glad you had this connection with the mines, it convinced people a little more to help you. I hope you'll get better, but Haymitch says not to worry, the armor is so thick that it'll barely touch you. I hope it will, but Haymitch has always kept things from me. And you. So, you'll be coming back now? I hope you can come visit me soon, I've been asking Haymitch and he said maybe you can. I have so much to ask. I want to know the truth, not the lies the Capitol has fed me. I don't know what's true, but I have a gut instinct that if it comes from you, I'll believe it. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Peeta is getting better and today's adventure to the lake has only proved it further. It'll just take a little time, a little hope, and a little work. We'll help each other. We'll get through this together. No matter what, I'm not going to let the Capitol win this last battle.

* * *

**A/N: From now on, if you want to know when a new chapter is coming out or when new stories are coming out, you should check my profile. It'll say when I think the next chapter/story is coming out. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day! **


	11. Never Forget

Never Forget

* * *

_"I tell him my idea about the book, and a large box of parchment sheets arrives on the next train from the Capitol."_

* * *

Usually when I wake up, I get changed, go shower, eat breakfast, check on Haymitch, and maybe visit Peeta. Today is different. When I wake up, I feel that I need restore something. I don't know what, so I walk around the house until I see what I was looking for. When I find what I'm looking for, I'm in the attic. I brush off the dust from it and pick it up from the cardboard box. It's a book filled with memories and knowledge. It's the plant book that's been handed down for generations. From my mother's side.

I pick up the old, leathery book and turn its yellowed pages. Memories of my mother sorting herbs and my father picking plants come back to me. I smile as I look at each plant and its uses. I look at what plants my father has redeemed as edible.

As I am looking through the book, an idea hits me. Peeta and I can make a book, too. Only it won't be filled with plants, it'll be filled with memories, the good and the bad. We can dedicate a page to a person and write everything we know about them. So we won't forget. We can write all the special moments we had together and we can tell a story through the pages.

* * *

After thinking it over, I call Dr. Aurelius.

"Hello? Katniss, is this you?" asks the voice on the phone.

"Yes. It's me. I wanted to tell you, I have an idea. You know the plant book we have at home?"

"Yes. What about it?" inquires Dr. Aurelius.

"Well today, I found it. I want to make a book. Only this time, I want to fill it with memories. The memories before, during, and after the Games. So I won't forget."

"Well then, I can send down a box of parchment from the Capitol. It should come in a few days," says Dr. Aurelius.

"Thanks. Bye," I reply.

* * *

I know this will be hard. Making the book. But, I know I have to do it. I can't forget about the ones I loved. I can't forget them. I can't forget _her_.

* * *

I walk over to Peeta's house, to tell him about my idea.

"So, will you help me?" I ask.

"Of course. I'll bring my paint set when the paper comes. It's just that…" Peeta trails off.

"It's just what?" I demand.

"It's just that the memories might trigger something. I don't want to hurt you," says Peeta.

"Oh. Well, it's okay. I can handle it," I say with a note of confidence.

"No, it's not that. It's just I don't want you to get hurt. Maybe you can handle it, but I could still hurt you," says Peeta, with his voice a little raised.

"Fine. But, you're still going to help me, whether you like it or not."

* * *

I storm off. I know Peeta is trying to help me. But, can't he see that I'm trying to help him? Without even realizing it, I walk into the living room and pull out a letter. Why not? Maybe it'll help me understand Peeta a little better. The hijacked Peeta, that is. I start reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Annie and Finnick are getting married, did you hear? I'm happy for them, they deserve happiness during these hard times. I'm decorating the cake. It's a part of my therapy because the doctors say "it is a calming hobby for me so I will feel more relaxed." I'm thinking of a ocean-sea kind of theme, what do you think? I hope you attend the wedding. The doctors aren't sure if I'm allowed to go yet, but hopefully I will. You're still in the hospital because of that soldier from District 2. I hope you get better. Turns out you're getting therapy, just like me. Maybe we can see each other soon. I'm asking Haymitch over and over, and the answer is always the same, "Maybe." It's your decision; it's just that I really want to see you. I need to see you. You can answer my questions and maybe clear things up.  
Until the next letter, Peeta_

* * *

Poor Annie. Poor Finnick. They had just gotten married and now they're separated, forever. I'll have to include their wedding in the book. And when Finnick and I scared Peeta in the arena. And the sugar cubes. And when I picked out Annie's wedding dress. Peeta and I need to include everything, every memory, every smile, every moment. The process of making the book might be hard, but I'll have to fight through it. So we will never forget.


	12. Little Things

Little Things

* * *

_"I got the idea from our family's plant book. The place where we recorded those things you cannot trust to memory."_

* * *

The sky fills with pinks, reds, and oranges. The sun is going down and by now, I should already be heading upstairs, but I'm just gazing out the window, looking into the sky. I wonder if Peeta is looking at the sunset, thinking of how to paint it. Just as I look away from the window, the doorbell rings. I haven't even opened the door and I know who it is. Peeta. He's going to make some heart wrenching speech on how he is sorry about our "fight" and how he wants to make it up for me.

"Oh, Peeta," I sigh as I open the door.

"Hi, um, Katniss. I just wanted to say tha–"

I take a deep breath and say, "I know. You want to apologize. I forgive you."

"Really?" Peeta says, with a look of surprise on his face, "Thanks."

He holds out a box. "Here is the parchment Dr. Aurelius sent. Let's getting cracking on this book."

* * *

Peeta follows me into the kitchen where I already have some of the supplies laid out, a few photos, the plant book for reference, and a couple of painting supplies.

"How should we do this?" I ask.

"I think we should tell a story. From the beginning, you know, the Reaping. As we tell it, we should include, you know, pages about the person it's referring to."

I nod my head.

* * *

We can do this. It's not the big picture that'll be hard to write about, it'll be the little things like Lady licking Prim's cheek or the smile my father wore when he came home with a nice kill. The little things that remind me everything that I have ever lost.

Peeta starts off with a picture of the Mockingjay pin Madge gave me. In careful handwriting, I start off the book with "During the reaping of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, a little girl, only twelve years-old, named Primrose Everdeen was the new girl tribute for District 12, with only one slip in. Her older sister, Katniss, volunteered for her, risking all that she had to save her little sister's life."

My hand stops writing. I can't go on. At least for now. It's too painful. My heart wrenches with love, longing, and sadness all at the same time.

I manage to croak out, "I can't do this. Maybe tomorrow."

Peeta seems to understand, and with a silent nod, he leaves the house.

* * *

The tears threaten to come out but I try to stay strong. I blink back the tears and read the letter that has become my daily routine. I open the envelope and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I am making the cake for Finnick's and Annie's wedding. I am going with the ocean theme. I've only seen the ocean in District 4 once in person, so it'll be a challenge. The doctors said "making the cake will be healthy for me" and that it "might even bring positive memories back." Maybe they're right, but I honestly don't care. Making the cake is good enough for me. It reminds me of the times when my brothers and I would make the cakes down at the bakery. The good times. I can remember some of the memories back in District 12. Just a few, but the doctors say it's better than nothing. Haymitch said you're going to the wedding. Maybe I'll see you there. Maybe._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I look back to the times before the Rebellion and I realize that while Peeta has always helped me, I haven't helped in return. Sure I wanted to save his life in the Quarter Quell, but that didn't work out too well, did it? He's always comforted me, whether it was an emotional flashback of my father or an anger burst from me. What have I done in return? He's lost his entire family, his memory, and his sanity, overall. I've only comforted him and talked with him. But I guess Dr. Aurelius would say, "It's the little things that count."

* * *

**A/N: Well here it is. Chapter 12. I'm sorry for the wait, but hey, school started. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and check out my profile if you want to see when the next update is! Oh, and I hope you have a great day! **


	13. Certain

Certain

* * *

_"How could I leave Prim, who is the only person in the world I'm certain I love?"_

* * *

I crawl upstairs, seeking nothing but Prim. My baby sister, my little duck, my… everything. The only person I was sure I loved. And now's she gone. I know tonight I will battle nightmares, and no one will be there to comfort me. Not even Peeta. When I reach my bedroom, I collapse on the bed, knowing what I will face in my sleep, and close my eyes.

Sure enough, I wake up in the middle of the night from a mutant dream. This time Prim and Rue were in a meadow, talking, when President Snow came out of now where, and snatched them. I was in the Capitol, pleading Snow to free them, but all he did was shake his head and laugh. My head is dripping in sweat and I go to the bathroom to wash my face off. I climb back into bed.

When I wake up, for the second time, I see daylight. There's a sense of determination running through me. But, determination for what? I ponder over this for a few minutes, and then it hits me. I need to finish the memory book.

* * *

I race over to Peeta's house, with all the supplies cradled in my arms, and knock on the door.

"Hi, Peeta," I say.

"Katniss?" he says, squinting his eyes as if he couldn't believe I was there, "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to finish the book," I mumble.

Peeta nods and lets me in.

* * *

"I suppose, I can finish, I guess," I say, not meeting Peeta's eyes.

I write, "Prim didn't want to let go. But Katniss forced her and took the role of the new District 12 girl tribute."

"Peeta, I suppose, we can stop there, and write a chapter about Prim. 'Cause we're mentioning her, right?"

"Okay. I'll start drawing her."

* * *

While Peeta draws Prim, I pull a letter out of my pocket to read. It's not like I'm going to do anything, so might as well read a letter. I begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today's the day of Finnick's and Annie's wedding. _

And that's all I get to read before Peeta interrupts me.

"Katniss? Is that… a letter? From me?" he asks.

Blushing, I answer, "Yes…Dr. Aurelius said I should read them, so I am."

"Oh, okay," he replies. Peeta seems to be blushing too.

* * *

I continue reading.

_The doctors wouldn't let me go. They said it might trigger something. I'm sad but Haymitch decided to ask you if you want to come visit me. That's good news, right? Hopefully, you'll say yes. How did the wedding go? I'm supposing you're reading this after the wedding, right? Did Finnick and Annie like the cake? I hope they did, I worked hard on it. I think I can remember more things now. I had two brothers, Rye and Miche, a mother, and a father. I also remember that my mother hit me quite often and my father was nice to me. Why do you think they married each other, if they're so different? I hope I can see you soon._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I look up and I realize Peeta is staring at me.

"So, you've been reading these for a while?" Peeta asks.

I nod.

"Katniss, I don't think you're a mutt. If anything, I'm the mutt."

I nod again, not knowing what to say.

"Katniss, I think I'll finish this up later. Right now, I need some… thinking time."

And for the third time, I nod. I walk out of Peeta's house and go back home.

* * *

I sit on the couch. I'm so stupid. Why did I read the letter in front of him? Now he feels even more ashamed of himself, I bet, knowing that I've read all his personal thoughts. Well I'm certain of one more thing. Peeta cares about me. And I care about him.

* * *

**A/N: I have two things to say. The first thing is that I want to recommend an amazing A/U Katniss/Peeta story called 'I Don't Think My Heart Could Take Much More' by TradegyIsTheKey. She's one of my amazing reviewers, so you can find her on my review list or on my profile in my favorites. The second thing is about the story, about Peeta's brothers. I couldn't resist naming his brothers Rye and Miche… they're just so… bready. That's it. I hope you all have a wonderful day! **


	14. Not Even Going to Bother

Not Even Going to Bother

* * *

_"So that's who Finnick loves, I think. Not his string of fancy lovers in the Capitol. But a poor, mad girl back home."_

* * *

I'm not even going to bother working on the memory book today. Peeta probably feels embarrassed for writing all his feelings out, and I feel ashamed to even bring a letter to Peeta's house. I'm about to go get ready to go town when I hear the doorbell ring.

I walk towards the door, hoping it's not Peeta. It isn't. It's Haymitch, who is holding a letter in his hands.

I'm just about to ask who it's from when Haymitch says, "It's from Annie."

Nodding my head, I take the letter, and go inside.

* * *

Why did Annie send me a letter? I open the letter and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Hello, it's Annie Cresta. I just want to give you some news. First of all, I'm living with your mother. She's helping me cope with some news I got recently. Katniss, I'm pregnant, with Finnick's child. I'm hoping it's a boy, so I can name him Finnick. Your mother is helping me with all that's going on, the shock of Finnick's death and eventually, she'll help me with the baby. Your mother also says to call her soon. She wants to talk to you. How are you doing? I heard Peeta came back to District 12, that's good, I suppose. Oh, and there's a hospital in District 4. Your mother is a nurse there. Maybe we can see each other soon. And one last thing, tell Peeta that I want to thank him for the wedding cake. I really never thanked him. _

_Love, Annie _

Annie's pregnant? Well, at least she has one last piece of Finnick. And my mother is living with Annie? I guess Annie needs more help than me. Well, Peeta might as well be dead. He's not the same as before. I'm an emotional wreck. I'm not going to push it anyways, my mother would never come back to District 12. Too many bad memories. I suppose I should reply to Annie.

I start writing.

_Hi Annie,_

_I'm doing fine. I'm getting better, and so is Peeta. I'm happy for you, Annie. I also hope the baby is a boy. I think that would be nice. It's good that there's a hospital in District 4 now. You can have your baby there, I suppose. I will thank Peeta for the cake soon. Maybe I'll visit District 4 once the baby is born. And I guess I can see the baby then, too. I hope you're getting better._

_Sincerely, Katniss_

* * *

I guess I have to keep my promise to Annie. I should probably go over to Peeta's house and tell him about Annie.

* * *

I start walking to Peeta's house. I stop when I see him walking towards me.

"Katniss," Peeta says at the same time I say, "Peeta."

"You go first," I say.

"Katniss, I'm sorry for getting upset at the letter yesterday. It's just that I'm so ashamed of what I did back in District 13."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault," I reply.

"What were you going to say?" Peeta asks.

I hesitate for a moment before saying "Annie's pregnant with Finnick's baby. And she's living with my mother. And she wants to thank you for the wedding cake."

"Oh," Peeta says. He's probably shocked too, just as I was.

"Well, I guess, I'm going to now," I say.

He nods and walks back to his house.

I guess my mother didn't even bother telling me anything about Annie. And I guess Annie didn't even bother explaining why she wanted to get pregnant. And I guess Peeta doesn't even bother to ask for more details. Anyways, I'm not even going to bother asking anything…

* * *

**A/N: My next story is going to be in the fandom Avatar: the Last Airbender. If you watch this amazing TV show, that's great! If you want more information, you can go to my profile. Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great day! **


	15. Both

Both

* * *

_"The page begins with the person's picture. A photo if we can find it. If not, a sketch or painting by Peeta."_

* * *

I slump downstairs with no plans whatsoever for today. Maybe I'll go hunting. Maybe I'll go finish the memory book. I weigh my choices over, hunting or book. I go with the book. The book needs to be finished. For Prim. For Rue. For everyone.

* * *

I walk over to Peeta's house and open the door without a glance behind. Peeta is in the kitchen, making bread.

"Hello," I say, with a hint of coldness in my voice.

He looks up for a moment, smiles, and says "Hi, Katniss."

How can he be so nice to me when I'm so cold to him?

"I was thinking, we could work on the memory book, today," I suggest.

"Oh, sure. Let me just finish my bread and we'll start working," Peeta replies, "The memory book is over in the study."

* * *

Peeta's house is a replica of mine, so I pretty much know where everything is. But, I still don't want to go to the study, even if it's not my house. The mere thought of the study brings me back to memories I don't want to reminiscence. Like the threatening of everyone I love. Or just President Snow himself.

In the study room, on the wooden table, lays the memory book and the picture of Prim. But that's not what I'm looking at. All over the room are paintings. Most of them are of me, I suppose. Me in the jungle, getting water. Me shooting the fake birds in the Training center. Me in my wedding dress.

* * *

Before Peeta can catch me looking at his paintings, I snatch the memory book and the picture and race out of the room.

When I get to the kitchen, Peeta is still making bread.

"I see you've found it," Peeta says, with a smile, "Why don't you start working on Prim's page?"

I nod my head. I'm somewhat determined this time to finish it, without getting into an emotional breakdown.

I start writing.

_Primrose Everdeen. She was the most beautiful girl you could ever meet, and the sweetest too. It all began on the day she was born. Her pink face, her blue eyes, and the tuft of blond hair just made her perfect. Prim was her mother's daughter. She was a healer, an animal-lover, a doctor, a sister, a daughter, a supporter, and most of all, a friend. She was kind to whoever she saw. Everyone loved Prim. She risked her life for those who never knew her, and she will be forever remembered._

* * *

And once again, when I look up, Peeta is staring at me.

"Katniss, I think I should give this to you," he says.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo of Prim. From the locket in the Quell.

The tears almost come back, but I hold them down, and say a wobbly thanks.

I take the picture and put it in the memory book. "So it'll be preserved," I say.

"Katniss, I'm done with the bread, so I can help you now," Peeta says.

He paints a portrait of Prim. She seems so real. If only I could just reach out, and caress her face, tuck her tail back in, or just hold her hand. But, she's not here. I have to get it back together. The past is the past and Prim would've wanted me to move on.

Peeta continues painting. He paints a picture of Lady and Prim. A picture of Prim and I peering in on the cakes in the bakery. A picture of Prim with a bunch of daisies in her hand. He paints… her.

Hours later, when he's finally done, he looks at me and says, "Is it good?"

I nod and say, "Peeta, it's perfect."

A smile lights up on his face and then, I know it's time to go.

"Peeta, I have to go now."

His smile falters a little, but he regains it and says, "Okay. Well, bye."

I walk out of his house and wave a final goodbye.

* * *

Back at home, I read a letter. It seems like the best way to end the day.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today, you are going to see me. Before, I was almost excited to see you, but now, I just feel… angry. I don't know why, maybe it's because you are actually going to see me? Anyways, I have dozens of questions to ask you and many memories to clarify. I want to be the Peeta they said I once was. I'm not doing a good job of it now, aren't I? There's another memory I remember. One the Capitol could never mess with. It was our first interaction before the Games, when I gave you that loaf of bread. I remember that you looked sad, hungry, and tired. I remember that my mother whacked me. I also remember pretending to give the loaves to the pigs, when I secretly gave it to you. I'm glad that I gave it to you. Because if I didn't, you might not still be there. But, the day after, why didn't you talk to me? I hope you can answer these questions when I see you._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I remember that day, too. The day when Peeta gave me those loaves. I know it's a memory Peeta and I both won't ever forget. Both of us have been through hell and back. We've been through so much. It's hard to think, that before we were just kids. Kids with no worries and no problems. But, now it's different. And it won't ever be the same again.


	16. Almost

Almost

* * *

_"I don't want to lose the boy with the bread."_

* * *

I woke up with a start. The nightmares hit me again. This time it was about President Snow, looking at me with blood trickling out of his mouth. I tried to scream and get away, but my tongue was gone and my feet were glued to the ground.

Sweat trickles down my forehead and I make no attempt to stop it. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep, so I head downstairs. Plopping down on the sofa, I look out the window. Peeta's outside, walking towards the gate.

* * *

My body involuntarily moves towards the door, out the house, and to Peeta.

"Hello, Katniss," he says, a little too cheerily.

I attempt to be somewhat nice today and reply, "Hello."

"I'm going to check on the building of the bakery today," he says.

"So they picked you to build the bakery?" I say, stumbling with my words.

Peeta chuckles and says, "Well, I'm the only baker around, aren't I?"

* * *

How stupid of me to even ask that. It's not like his family is around to run it, is it? And of course, that was my fault, too…

I try to crack a smile and laugh along, but hollowness fills my voice.

* * *

When we're at the town square, I took a good look at the bakery. It definitely won't ever be the same, but it's not in crumbles either. The bakery is in the process of building and it already looks better than the old one, with no peeling paint or crooked panels.

"Hello, there," a voice calls out, "Come on over!"

We walk over, not knowing who would be there. It's Thom.

"Just checking how the bakery's going," Peeta says.

Thom nods and says, "It's definitely still building, but soon or later, it'll be up."

* * *

While Peeta and Thom chat away, I walk behind the bakery.

Memories flash before my eyes. Memories of that day come back… that day I almost lost hope, Peeta took a chance a gave me that bread, and I was nothing more than a "Seam brat."

I sit down on the ground, with my back against the old apple tree, which is miraculously still there.

"Katniss," Peeta calls out, "Where are you?"

I don't reply.

Peeta comes running behind the bakery.

"Katniss, why didn't you answer?" he asks, sounding a little angry.

I don't reply.

"Katniss, answer me," he persists.

"I just… wanted to think," I lamely reply.

Peeta understands. Why wouldn't he? He reaches out a hand to me and we walk back to the Victor's Village, still holding hands.

* * *

Back at home, I read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today, I saw you. You didn't answer many of my questions, and you weren't very nice either. You did seem nicer when I mentioned me giving you the bread. I remember, when I gave you the bread, I was so scared you were going to die… And what was so special about the dandelion? You didn't explain that very well. But seriously, why weren't you nice to me? Especially, since I am so messed up. And, according to the doctors, I was a very kind person. They said I would do anything for you. Even die. You should've been nice to me, especially since I was nice to you. Answer my questions next time you see me. That is if you actually want to see me again._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

I do regret what I said to him that day. He's right; I should've been nicer to him. There are so many mistakes that I could've slipped past, but I had to make them. If I had saved Peeta in the Quell, all of this wouldn't have happened. Is it for a reason? I don't know. I was so close to saving Peeta, I almost did. And that's never going to be enough.


	17. Different

Different

* * *

_"We settle back in a nook in the rocks. From this place, we are invisible but have a clear view of the valley, which is teeming with summer life, greens to gather, roots to dig, fish iridescent in the sunlight."_

* * *

Today was the day of the Reaping. The day where innocent children would lose everything they had. The day where all hope was lost. I look out into the valley below, which glistens with life and happiness. As for me, I'm not.

* * *

Two years ago, on this very day, I was sitting here, with Gale, laughing and genuinely enjoying myself. I was a mere girl, with no idea what was going to happen. No idea that my life would be changed in a matter of seconds. Here I am, sitting here, and the unthinkable happened. Prim was reaped, and now, she's gone. Why am I here, if Prim is not? It's not fair. Nothing's really fair.

Some might think that I would be enjoying myself for this day will never happen again. But, that idea is simply horrendous. Why should I celebrate the day my life and world changed? Instead, I sit here, with no words to speak, no tears to cry, and no smiles to share.

I ponder on what life would've been if Prim hadn't been reaped. Dr. Aurelius says I need to focus on what's happening now, not what could've happened, but I need to think about this. Would I still be hunting? Would I be in the mines? Would Gale and I have been together? Would I have met Peeta? There are so many possibilities. But, now it's different. I used to focus only on what would give my family food and now I struggle with the task of merely staying alive. And wanting to.

* * *

When the sun starts to go down, I head back home. District 12 is slowly coming back to life. As I walk through the town square, I see shops being built and families walking all around. Houses are gleaming with light and warmth. I feel jealous. They have the life I used to have, and I long for it.

* * *

Back at home, I stroll into the dining room and find that there's something on the dining table. There's a dish on it and a note accompanying it. I pick it up and scan it over.

_Hello Katniss, it's Greasy Sae. Here's some dinner for you, I know today is a hard day for you, so I just wanted to help. And the boy brought some bread._

I look to the right of the dish and there's a basket of bread. I pick one of the rolls up and tear a piece off. Tastes like his usual kind of bread, but with a taste of crunchiness and sweetness. I set the roll down. It's not just normal, white bread. I squint my eyes and look into it. There are nuts and berries in it. It's the kind of bread that Peeta threw to me on that terrible night.

If it were any other day, I might have broken down and reminiscence on how I could've saved Prim. Today is different. I hold my ground and fight through the waves of emotions that settle in my mind.

Maybe Peeta made this bread by accident; it might be pure coincidence. Maybe he wanted to tell me something, like hope is always there. I shake these thoughts out of mind and finish the rest of my dinner.

* * *

When I'm done, there's only one thing left to do. Read a letter. Even though it seems like today's not the day to do so. I walk over to the living room and pick a letter up from a stack.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today, Johanna visited me. I remembered her from the cells; I know what her screams sound like. She was kind of bossy, kind of mean, but she was funny and occasionally nice. She said she was friends with you, which I found a little confusing, but I guess both of you have that same determination and anger inside of you. Johanna said that you two were going to start training so you two could go to the Capitol and fight. Katniss, why would you want to fight? That would just tear our country up even more. But, I suppose you would want to get revenge for all that the Capitol has done to you. How's Gale? Are you two together, now? I knew you from the beginning that you liked him. Katniss, it's quite obvious. But, how could you do that to me? I don't understand. Hopefully, you'll answer my questions soon._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Even when Peeta got "better", he still knew me as a monster, a monster who only fighting and rebelling. I'm no different now, I'm selfish and I think of things that would only help me. Peeta is, and was, always the good one. I'm different. I can't understand why Peeta is so nice and why he can move on so quickly after such things, like the death of his family. I'm still struggling over my father's death, which happened years ago. Maybe I'll learn someday.


	18. Help

Help

* * *

_"There's a sense of incompleteness. And not because he hasn't apologized. But because we were a team. We had a deal to keep Peeta safe. A drunken, unrealistic deal made in the dark of night, but a deal just the same. And in my heart of hearts, I know we both failed."_

* * *

"So Katniss, what do you want to do for Cinna?" a voice asks from nearby.

I snap out of my temporary stupor and reply, "What?"

Peeta smiles and asks, "What do you want to do for Cinna? You know, on the memory book?"

Even though the sun hasn't risen, I am Peeta's house, working on the memory book that needs to be finished.

"I don't know. I suppose you can draw a picture of him designing. I guess I can write the paragraph about him, since I knew him best," I say.

He nods and starts painting.

* * *

I go back to daydreaming. I think about Prim. She's in a better place now, safe from any harm. After hours of therapy with Dr. Aurelius, I can now think of Prim with a happier note. She died making the world a better place, and I think she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I go back to reality, and start working on Cinna's paragraph. There is so much to say, so much to paint, and so much to do, for Cinna, who knew the consequences of his actions, and took them. Sometimes, I wish I could've died a thousand times for those who have, but I know now they wouldn't have wanted me to.

* * *

Hours later, when we have finished Cinna's page, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Peeta says.

He walks over to the door and before I can even realize it, Haymitch's voice fills my ears.

"Hello, boy. How are you doing?" Haymitch asks.

Peeta replies, "Just fine."

"So, is the girl here?"

"Katniss is here. We're working on the memory book, I'll go and get her."

Peeta strides into the kitchen, where we're working, and whispers in a hushed tone, "Haymitch is here. I don't know what he wants, but just go over."

* * *

When I reach the door, I stop. The man standing in front of me isn't drunk, surprisingly, and he looks decent enough.

"Well, quit your staring, because I want to talk to you," Haymitch says.

"About what?" I growl.

Haymitch scoffs and says, "Already grumpy at this hour? Greasy Sae told me about this book you're working on, and I just would like to see what you're doing."

Haymitch wanting to watch us make a book? "Shouldn't you be out drinking?" I ask, still in disbelief.

He smiles and replies, "I would be, but I promised myself I would stay sober for one day, so I could see what you're up to."

Still shocked with disbelief, I let him in. But, I come to my senses quick enough.

I stop him and ask, "What's the real reason you're here?"

"That is the real reason," Haymitch says.

We walk over to the kitchen, where Peeta is painting.

He walks around for a while, inspecting Peeta's paintings, when he finally says something.

"Katniss, Peeta, could I help you on the book?"

I drop my pencil and ask with much suspicion in my voice, "You want to do _what_?"

"I would like to help you with the book, and add the twenty-three years of tributes of have died under my mentoring. To honor them."

* * *

My heart nearly stops. Haymitch? Helping us? It's not like his usual self, but I accept his request anyways.

Haymitch cracks a smile and says, "I know it's not something I would usually do, but it's important to me, and their lives should never be forgotten."

"I need to go home," I say, "I'll see you later."

Peeta and Haymitch nod and as I walk out, I can hear them murmuring about me.

* * *

At home, I read a letter. Because Peeta's letters shouldn't be forgotten either.

D_ear Katniss,_

_Today they showed me a clip of the Quarter Quell, when we were on the beach. I showed you a locket with three pictures, Gale, your mother, and Prim. Apparently I wanted to die for you, so you could have a life with them. Will you ever have a life with Gale? I remember thinking about living the rest of my life with you, but will that ever happen now? Especially since I can't tell what's real, and what's not? Do me a favor, Katniss, and just flat-out tell me. It'll hurt less than seeing it happen. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Doesn't he know that I've already picked him, in my heart? Maybe I won't admit it to anyone right now, but Peeta's the only one who understands me, and the only one who can help me. Maybe I didn't realize it before, but he was always the one for me. Always helping me, always being there for me. Peeta helped me through words, love, and devotion, even when I turned him down. I'll change it this time, and help him.

* * *

**A/N: I am really sorry for the long wait before this update. I really do hope that this chapter makes it up (even though it was very dialoguey), and that I portrayed Haymitch well, especially since he isn't drunk. Oh, and I've been also meaning to give a shout-out to one of my lovely reviewers, OneMayAlsoFly. She's also a great writer, so I highly recommend to check out one of her stories. **


	19. Pieces of Hope

Pieces of Hope

* * *

_"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear."_

* * *

Today is the kind of day that I loved, and am now growing to love again. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the flowers are smiling. I swiftly grab my bow and arrows, prepared to go hunt in the woods. As I walk out of my house, I quickly check the mailbox.

I quickly glance into it and just as I close the mailbox, I realize there's something in there. I open it again and grab the letter. It's from Annie.

Running into the house, I start to open the letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_The baby came. It's a boy, and his name is Finnick, of course. Even as a baby, he looks like a replica of him, with blonde hair and sea green eyes. I also enclosed a picture of him. Would you consider coming over to District 4? I think it would be nice if you could see Finnick, and maybe your mother. Or maybe you could call us? It would be nice hearing your voice. _

_Love, Annie _

I look in the envelope, and sure enough, there is a picture of the new Finnick. He looks exactly like Finnick, only in baby form. I slip the photo in my pocket.

* * *

I start heading towards the woods, ready for a long day of hunting. As I pass through the town center, I bump into Peeta.

"Hello, Katniss," he says, with a huge smile on his face, "The bakery is half-way done. The workers are really quick, aren't they?"

The workers _are_ really quick. The chimney is up, and I can already imagine the bundles of children goggling at the treats in the windows. Like Prim and I once did, a long time ago.

"You'll live up there, right?" I say, with a little disappointment in my voice.

"Of course not, Katniss. I want to stay in my home," he replies.

The strange feeling of relief passes over me.

* * *

The town center is filled with joy; I can nearly feel it in the air. Children laughing, couples talking, it seems like District 12 is nearly back to life, and this time, with happiness.

"So, what do you think of it?" Peeta asks.

I look him in the eyes and reply, "It's amazing."

He takes my hand and leads me to the bakery. He shows me around, telling me which parts are which and what to do with what. It's amazing, how much can be accomplished in such a short time, and how fast life moves.

* * *

Dusk arrives soon and I head home. I decide to call Annie.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end says.

"Annie, it's me, Katniss," I reply.

"Katniss!" Annie cries, "It's lovely to hear your voice!"

"You too, I'm really happy for you, you know."

"I thought it would be hard at first, you know, the baby not having a father, but I realize, it's these little pieces of hope that make life livable."

We chat for hours and hours, until nightfall officially lands upon us.

* * *

I head upstairs and before I go to bed, I think about what Annie said. _"It's these little pieces of hope that make life livable." _The little pieces of hope… Finnick, the memory book, Buttercup, Peeta's bread, they're all part of what makes me want to live. I smile to myself and drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, and I am so happy at the response I got last chapter. Every little piece of praise really means a lot! I know this chapter was a change from my usual, but I wanted it to be special, and happy. And also, the quote is from the Hunger Games movie this time, incase anyone was wondering where it was from. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day! **


	20. Promise

Promise

* * *

_"We seal the pages with salt water and promises to live well to make their deaths count."_

* * *

The sun is at its peak of its daily journey as Haymitch crosses his lawn back to his house. He visited Peeta and I to work on the memory book, filling in twenty-three pages of forty-six tributes that he had failed to save in the deadly arena.

Peeta remarks with a grin on his face, "There we have it, the book is nearly finished."

I feel that it's not enough. We need to do something more for them.

"These people, who have died for us, they weren't playing dumb. They died for a reason. So we should make their lives count," I say, thinking of Prim, as a tear slips down my face.

The smile on Peeta's face disappears as he wipes away the tear on my face. "What else do you think we should do, then?" he asks in a calming voice.

I know just the thing to do.

* * *

"Katniss? Where are we going?" Peeta inquires, as I drag him down the leafy trail in the woods.

"You'll see."

I carry a knapsack, which has the memory book, a small leather pouch of salt, and a roughly carved wooden cup my father gave to me in it.

After an hour of traversing in the woods, we reach the destination I was looking for. The lake. I haven't brought anyone here, not even Gale, for this spot bursts with memories of my father. And the times when I was truly happy.

* * *

"What is this place?" Peeta asks.

I reply, without looking into his eyes, "It's the lake. My father and I used to come here all the time, fishing and gathering."

He nods silently.

I reach into my knapsack and take out the wooden cup. I kneel at the edge of the lake and dip my cup to it, filling it to the brim with water. Still holding the cup, I reach into my bag and pull out the pouch of salt. I reach my fingers into it and sprinkle a pinch of salt into the water.

In a gentle tone, Peeta asks, "What are you doing?"

"Making tears. To seal the pages with, to know that they will always be missed."

* * *

Slowly, but carefully, I dot the pages with the "tears", just enough so it'll be there, but not too much that it'll be soaked with it. Tears need to be shed, but too many of them can cause problems.

Cup after cup, page after page, we cover the book with the salt water, to mark recognition and to mark love.

When we finally finish, the sky is dark and glitters with stars.

We walk back to the Victor's Village, smiling and holding hands. Peeta will get better. I know it.

* * *

When Peeta is back at home and I stand in my house, I read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today I sat with you at lunch. When I first came to sit at your table, everyone was looking at you and you nearly choked. Were you that surprised to see me? Johanna, of course, was a bit obnoxious and oblivious to the fact I was in the hospital for a while. Delly was nice, as always. Annie was quiet and shy. Finnick made a few jokes; I have grown to like him. As for you on the other hand, you looked like you were about to kill someone. Why were you so mad? Was it because of Gale? Katniss, you are not all that great as I have heard and remember. Have you grown sullen without me? Please, Katniss, open up. I'm still Peeta, no matter how distorted I am._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

So that's what he thought of me. A monster, a killer, and a madwoman. He wasn't Peeta then, and he won't really ever be the same. He's healing, slowly but surely, but no matter how much therapy he gets and no matter how much support he gets; the effects of the tracker jacker poison will always be there. He's changed over the years, a lovesick boy at first, then a warrior, a mutt, and now the three have joined into the Peeta I have today. We, the victors, have grown and changed over the years to something almost inhumane, like the games itself, yet the promise that says we'll get better still remains, deep down in ourselves.


	21. A New Beginning

A New Beginning

* * *

_"Kind people have a way of working their way inside me and rooting there_.

* * *

Days pass without any effort. The sun rises, the sun sets, a new day begins without me even knowing. It seems like life has gone back to normal. Almost. Life has been a little shaky here and there, but I got through it. And I'll go through anything else that life throws at me. I know it.

Today is the day of the grand opening of Peeta's bakery. It'll be the first store to open in the town square.

* * *

"Katniss," a deep, husky voice calls from the door, "It's time to head out to the town square."

"All right," I reply, pulling on my jacket.

Haymitch greets me at the door and together, we walk to the town square. Kind of like the old days, mentor and tribute, working together. Only we're not in the immediate threat of death.

We chat about the most normal things, the town square, his geese, and the bakery, just to keep our minds off of the Games for a few hours.

When Haymitch and I reach the town square, the first thing we see is Peeta, standing on a wooden podium in front of the bakery, which has a plain white banner that says "Grand Opening" adorning the store. Tables piled with sweets, breads, and drinks are just outside the door.

* * *

"Hello, friends and citizens of District 12," Peeta says, with a grin on his face, "I'm proud to say that after a few weeks of hard work, the bakery is open!"

His smooth words simply drive the crowd crazy.

Peeta steps off the podium and opens the door to the bakery. "Today is the day District 12 will finally begin to be itself! The door to a new world is being opened!"

The crowd claps and cheers as they rush towards the laden tables, grabbing a piece of pumpernickel or a sampling of a cake. Some observe the bakery or chat with their new neighbors.

I walk over to Peeta, who is greeting a few of his new customers.

"Hi, Peeta," I say.

He smiles and says to me, "I'll be with you in a few seconds."

* * *

An unknown feeling rushes over me. It's a pang of something I've never felt before. Jealousy? There's nothing to be jealous of. Guilt? From not paying attention to Peeta? I come back to my senses when Peeta's voice rings in my ears.

"Sorry about that," he says, "It's just that I wanted to get to know my new customers."

I nod. "So, are you going to run this bakery all by yourself?"

He replies, "No, I've got Thom to help me a bit and I was thinking, that maybe you could help me?

The reaction on my face must be mixed because Peeta suddenly says, "It's okay, you know, if you don't want to."

"No, I think it would be great, Peeta," I say.

He smiles brighter than any other smile I've seen on his face today.

After a few hours, people start to leave, and I go with them. The days are becoming shorter and shorter, but the cool, fall atmosphere makes it up.

* * *

When I go home, I read a letter. It seems like the perfect bittersweet ending to his day.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today I wanted to talk to you, but the doctors said you were in training? Katniss, more fighting is not the answer. You'll just yourself into more trouble, and lose even more people. Even if I seemed completely deranged completely at yesterday's lunch, I still have some sense in me. We don't need more fighting and death in this world; we need peace and a world where everyone will be safe. Don't lose yourself out there. It's really not worth it. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Did Peeta really mean it, what he said at his interview with Caesar? I thought he was simply fed with lies the Capitol has made him swallow, but it seems like he truly meant it in this letter. I needed to fight, to win this war, there's no other way to do it. I should have been more careful though, so I wouldn't have lost my loved ones to the Capitol. It's not fair. I push these thoughts to the back of my mind. Today's not the day for them. Today is the day that we, Peeta and I, start a new life. Today is the day for a new beginning to start.


	22. As If

As If

* * *

_"We learn to keep busy again. Peeta bakes. I hunt. Haymitch drinks until the liquor runs out, and then raises geese until the train arrives._

* * *

I sweep the sweat off my brow as I look at my surroundings. The burgundy, tangerine, and gold leaves dance off the trees, the grass, still wet with dew, tickles my boots, and the birds chirp a melody unlike no other; it's a reminder that my old life is coming back. As I set my arrow back into my bow, I think about why I'm here, hunting in the woods. Is it to reminiscence about the good old times? Or is it to slip away from my life, and enter a different one?

I shrug away from my thoughts and focus purely on hunting. I shoot a few squirrels, for Peeta, and catch a couple of rabbits with my snares. I even go back to the strawberry patch to pick a few of the delectable treats along with some of my mother's old healing herbs and a batch of wild greens.

The day has hardly hit the afternoon, yet I find myself trudging to the Victor's Village, watching my feet swirl clouds of dust on the road. An obtrusive noise fills my ears. I suddenly look up; the noise is coming from Haymitch's.

* * *

I barge into my old mentor's house.

"Haymitch!" I call. "There's a strange noise coming from your house. Do you need any help?"

Haymitch appears at the back door. "Come out here," he says.

"What for?" I reply.

"You'll see."

A scowl appears on my face as I head outside. Haymitch laughs, seeing my expression.

"Lighten up," he says, with a poke on the shoulder, "Now look at _this." _He points to a patch of his backyard filled with squawking geese.

The look on my face must be hilarious because Haymitch laughs. "Never expected this to happen to me, eh?" he says.

I open my mouth and ask, with the slightest bit of sarcasm in my voice, "And this is for?"

"To keep me busy. Got them from the train, they'll be gone when the next train comes again."

I nod, not sure what to do with the situation. "I hope you'll actually take care of them," I say, waving a goodbye. "And not neglect them like you did with me and Peeta," I mutter.

He must have heard the last part, for his eyes squint in anger, but he chooses to ignore my comment and waves goodbye. Maybe the geese are making him a nicer person. I scoff at my thinking. As if.

* * *

Back at home, Greasy Sae is sitting at the countertop. "Peeta told me you went hunting," she says, "I figured I might as well come to help you cook all this up."

Handing her my knapsack, I smile, as if it came naturally to me. "I got a few rabbits and squirrels. I also have some strawberries, greens, and a few of my mother's herbs."

She nods, with the biggest smile on her face. Maybe she's happy that I'm getting better. Getting back to life.

For a few hours, we skin the carcasses, set away the herbs, and wash the strawberries and greens. In no time, we have a nice full dinner.

"Why don't you invite the boy over?" Greasy Sae suggests.

I shrug and invite Peeta over anyways. He brings a basket of his bread and for the first time, I genuinely enjoy myself. It feels as if nothing drastic had ever happened, and we were just a few old friends sitting down for a nice dinner. As if.

* * *

When Greasy Sae and Peeta head back home, I read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today the doctors told me you were going to the Capitol soon, to fight. Katniss, listen to me. Don't go. It's not worth it, you could die, your fellow teammates might die, and plenty of others could die. It's just not worth it. We could end the war now and so many lives can be saved from this one action. Maybe we could end the Hunger Games once and for all, but this might just encourage them to repeat history. Please Katniss, do us all a favor. Stay in District 13. And remember, you still have Prim to take care of._

_Sincerely,  
Peeta_

* * *

I never thought of that before. How if I stayed in District 13, I might've prevented my sister from going into battle. How I could've prevented my sister's death. Tempted as I am, I don't bang my head against the wall. But, Peeta is wrong. If I didn't go out to fight, the war would still be going on. _"Many lives can be saved from this action." _As if. We would lose more lives with the Hunger Games. The people who died in the war died for a reason. Even if it hurts me to say that, it's true. Finnick, Boggs, Prim, they were so smart, and they knew what they were doing. I suppose, it's meant to be.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the huge delay. I hope this chapter makes it up. I don't know if I'll be able to update next week, because as some of my lovely readers may know, Hurricane Sandy is here. And I live in the area where it's going to hit. So, we may or may not lose electricity, but I'll try to prepare and upload a chapter on Sunday (before it hits). Thank you for reading and I hope you have a lovely day!**


	23. Nightmares

Never

* * *

_"I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me."_

* * *

Never would I have thought that he would come back to me. I knew he would come back eventually, but not this quick and I never thought he would help me this way. Never. But it did. And I'm grateful for it.

* * *

_Nightmares plagued my mind again. The worst kind of nightmare I ever had, everyone I ever loved knew me, but never loved me. I helped them, but they never helped me; I smiled at them, they never smiled back; it was a never-ending cycle of torture. I woke up with a start, sweat trickling all down my body and my pupils dilated with fear._

_A soft voice came out of nowhere. "Katniss?" it spoke. "Are you all right?"_

_I looked up to see a figure in my doorway. "Who is it?" I called, with the same volume the speaker wore._

_"It's Peeta. I just wanted to check on you. You were screaming and I got worried."_

_I didn't give a response. The room filled with a silence, the kind of silence that makes me cringe._

_He hesitated before saying, "Is there any way I can help? You know, with your nightmares?"_

_My body froze on the spot. My mouth blurted out something I would never ask. Especially at his state. "Will you stay with me?"_

_His face looked a little surprised at first, but relaxed to his usual calm way. "Sure," he replied._

_Peeta climbed into my bed. And put his arms around me. It was more than what I asked for, or wanted, but I didn't regret what I said. My whole body relaxed and it was as if my mind instantly forgot about my nightmares and my hardships. I had never felt so safe._

_I closed my eyes, and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Before I knew it, the sun was up and Peeta was gone. It was as if Peeta was never here, and I just had a good night's sleep. I smiled._

* * *

I can't believe Peeta was there to comfort me last night. I almost forgot of all the nights we spent together on the train. It seems almost unreal. Like it was just a figment of my imagination.

* * *

Pushing these thoughts aside, I pick up a letter and begin to read.

_Dear Katniss,_

_You left. Why? You know the consequences. Katniss, I know I'm being repetitive, but listen to me. Please. And you didn't even say goodbye to me, not like I thought you would anyways. Also, says she says she needs to talk to me. Do you have any idea what it's about? And Katniss, I also saw your sister today. She nearly burst into to tears every few minutes because you left for the Capitol. She cried so hard. If Prim wept simply because you left to fight, what would happen if you died? The effect would be terrible, maybe even worse than your mother's reaction after your father died. I just want to say something to you: stay safe out there._

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

Maybe he could be a little more gentle with his words. Ironic isn't it? I think that Peeta needs to be more gentle when I, myself, am a ruthless killing machine. It hurts though, knowing sweet Prim cried because I left her, didn't protect her, and wasn't there for her. She was smart though. The cleverest of her kind. Maybe she's not here now, but her spirit will live on forever. And that's what matters, right?

* * *

**A/N: Well there you have it. The first ****_real _****form of Everlark action. I do hope I wasn't going too quick, but then again, it is chapter twenty-three. Also, did anyone notice my new format? It won't be a regular thing but I wanted to switch it up (the first italic part of this story is a flashback from the previous night, if anyone doesn't know). And isn't it great that I uploaded twice in a week, let alone three days? Also, Sandy's coming real soon, it's already raining. I hope anyone who is in the Sandy region stays safe, and that everyone has an amazing day!**


	24. Letters

Letters

* * *

_"We're not alone. A few hundred others return because, whatever has happened, this is our home."_

* * *

I stare out my window, senseless of what to do. Out of nowhere, a train whistles. As I try to put the pieces together, Greasy Sae knocks on the door.

"Katniss," she says rather hurriedly, "Come look, people are coming back to District 12."

I stand there puzzled and confused. "What for?"

"Home," is all she says.

I'm still a bit bemused, but I follow her out of the house anyways. We walk about a mile to the train station; the construction workers haven't attached some more train tracks closer to District 12. We're still relying on the Capitol's train tracks. But we'll build our own, sooner or later.

* * *

A crowd of people flocks around the train station, holding bags and suitcases of all kind. As I scan the group for people I know, a chirpy voice greets me, taking me far out of my comfort zone.

"Hello, Katniss!" a cheerful Delly says, in her usual friendly way.

I force out a grumbled, "Hello."

"I've heard District 12 has some new improvements! I can't wait to see them, it'll look fantastic!" she says, completely ignoring my grumpy mood.

How is she always so optimistic? It has always puzzled me on how Delly is so happy, especially since we live in this cruel world. "Yea. Peeta opened his bakery, maybe we can visit it together soon."

She grins and replies, "That would be great, Katniss. I'm so glad you and Peeta are getting better, it makes me happy, you know."

The muscles around my lips feel stiff. I smile for the first time today. "Delly, where are you going to stay?" I ask.

"I don't know. I was just planning to find somewhere for the next couple of days while I go find a house."

"Why don't you stay here?" I tell her. "It would be nice."

It's Delly's turn to grin. "That would be amazing, Katniss. Thank you so much."

We walk back to the Victor's Village and to my house, taking turns to speak and catching up on each other's lives. Maybe Delly is one of my few friends, maybe we weren't friends as children, but maybe now is the time for our friendship to grow.

* * *

When we reach my house, I help her get her bags to her room and while Delly unpacks, I seize the moment and read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Coin told me her plan. To send me to the Capitol. Why am I going? I'm weak; I needed your help in both Games. I'm worthless. Was I sent there to kill you? I might as well die because we both know I'll die over there, fighting. I don't want to go, but Coin says I have to, that it will fuel the rebellion. How will me going to the Capitol "fuel the rebellion?" Does she want me dead so badly? My death won't make an impact on anyone, I'm just a creature controlled by the Capitol. I won't be a martyr. I'll just be another poor soul lost in this terrible war. Katniss, what should I do? I doubt you'll protect me this time, you might even be tempted to kill me, yourself. Katniss, just please, help me. I don't want you to protect me; I just need you to help me. To find myself. _

_Sincerely, Peeta_

* * *

A voice comes from behind me speaking softly, "Katniss? You've been reading the letters?"

I whip around, and find Delly standing, looking nearly traumatized. "Yes, I have."

"Katniss, those letters, Peeta was delusional when he wrote them. They don't mean any- " she hastily says.

"I know what they say. Peeta was right, most of the time, at least. It's hard for me to read them, but I'll do it, to understand him and myself. To see myself in a different light."

* * *

She nods and walks out of the room.

How did Delly know about the letters? Was Delly with Peeta when he wrote the letters? Did Delly try to censor out some of Peeta's thoughts, to protect the reader? And why did Delly immediately conclude that I was reading Peeta's letters?

But, I wish that I could've helped Peeta from the beginning. Not just the beginning of the expedition into the Capitol, but when we were children, when we first got reaped. I wish I were there with him every moment of my life. So these letters would've never have been written.


	25. Ready

Ready

* * *

_"Delly Cartwright. As always, she gives me a smile that suggests I'm her best friend in the world. She gives this smile to everyone."_

* * *

Why did I invite Delly to stay with me? Who knows how long she could stay here, perhaps, forever? It's not that I don't like her, but she is just too…cheerful, I suppose. Not the kind of person I would be friends with.

A face pops into my bedroom door. "Oh hello, Katniss!" she chirps. "Peeta came over and brought some treats! Want to come?"

I nod. Might as well be on friendly terms with her, but even if I acted hostile and aggressive to her, she would act nice anyways. Does she ever even get mad? Or is she a happy sunflower all the time?

I follow her down to the kitchen, where a woven basket of various breads and muffin lay. We both grab a muffin and sit on the island counter, where Delly tries to make some small talk.

"So, how has District 12 been so far? I'm so excited to see all the new buildings and there are just so many people to meet!"

I stifle a groan that urges to come out of my mouth and reply, "Oh just great. Peeta opened his bakery and I think they might tear down the electric fence and just replace it with a normal one."

She grins. "District 12 certainly is becoming a better place!"

Not without Prim. But, I wouldn't say that to her. At least not to her face.

* * *

I wave goodbye to her as I head out into the woods, grabbing my bow and arrows as I leave. As I walk out of the Victor's Village, Greasy Sae says with a wink, "Make sure to get some good meat!"

"I will!" I reply, with a smile. I'll also get some away time from cheerful Delly. Maybe Delly staying at my house will be good, maybe she'll see Peeta and they can reminiscence on their good old lives in their little shops. While I starved and worked for my life.

For a few hours, I hunt and gather enough for a feast. I think of Prim and her goat and all the wonderful things in the world. Might as well get all my thoughts out of my head when I can.

* * *

When I come home, there is a rosy glow in the windows. Delly has seem to lit all the candles. Perhaps she really does like me. I walk in the kitchen, finding Peeta and Delly chatting.

"Hi there, Katniss," she says, waving me over, "Peeta brought up some more bread! You really must have good business, Peeta!"

"He does," I interrupt, "He gets about twenty customers a day. Almost more than the old bakery."

Peeta glances at me before saying, "I might even need to get a couple of people to help out, too. Do you know anyone who can help out, Delly?"

"I would, but I'm thinking of reopening the family shoe shop. My brothers went off to another district, I'm not sure which, so it'll be just me running it, just like you!"

* * *

After dinner and a few more hours of repetitive small talk, I excuse myself upstairs and grab a letter on the way, somewhat discreetly. When I'm safe upstairs, locked in my bedroom, I open the envelope and begin reading my daily treasure.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I'm here in the Capitol. You don't look happy to see me. In fact, no one does. Angry whispers surround me. I even heard that Boggs said to you that I might be here because Coin wants me to kill you. I don't want to kill you. I promise, I'll try my best not to. What a terrible promise that is. I wish I was back in District 13, or even better, back in the old District 12. Katniss, don't ignore me. Please, just help me. I've lost my friends, my life, and just everyone I loved. I need some help, and only you can give it to me. _

_Sincerely,  
Peeta_

* * *

I never thought about how Peeta felt about his situation of him coming to the Capitol. As usual, I was only focused on my feelings and my situation. Peeta's experience might have just been worse than mine, him not knowing who to trust and what to do. Maybe I wasn't there for Peeta, but I will be there for him now. It's a whole new page, a whole new book, and I'm ready to open it.

* * *

**A/N: Well, uh, hi there. Long time no see. Sorry about the short hiatus, life has been so hectic and what not. But, I'm glad I got this chapter done and I'm glad you read it! So thank you all for supporting me and I hope you have a great day!**


	26. Again

Again

* * *

_"Although no one seeds it, the Meadow turns green again."_

* * *

When I wake up, the house is silent. Where is Delly? Then I remember, she left a few days ago, to live in her new, well deserved house above her future shoe store. District 12 is _really_ coming back together, isn't it? New people moving in, new stores being built, District 12 is better than ever.

* * *

The phone rings. Unwillingly, I drag my legs over to the other side of the room, where it lays.

"Hello?" I ask. "Who is this?"

"It's me, Peeta," the calming voice on the other end replies, "Look outside your door."

Puzzled, I walk to the front door, where I see a brown paper bag, nearly bulging with treats.

"Oh wow," I smirk into the phone, "Well, thanks anyway. I might drop off by the bakery today, alright?"

I can nearly hear the smile in his voice as he says, "That's great. See you later!"

I look into the bag, where I see a pile of muffins and bagels. I smile to myself, only Peeta would do this for me.

I grab my leather backpack, where I put a letter and a spare muffin in. Chewing on the baked treat, I walk to the town square, where I already see the town bustling to life.

Several children point and gawp at me, while their parents whisper in their ears not to point. Many passers look at me, eyes struggling to look away.

* * *

In the bakery, a girl with dark skin and brown hair greets me. Like many others, she openly gapes at me, before quickly remembering where she is.

Peeta comes bursting out of the kitchen doors. His sweaty face instantly breaks out into a smile. "Hi there Katniss!" he chirps. I merely nod and continue looking at the girl. I feel that I know her, but I don't. "Oh Katniss, this is Celandine," he says, pointing to the girl next to him.

"Hello," I say. Then, I remember. She looks like Rue. She can't be Rue's younger sister though, she looks much older than her. Without even thinking, I blurt out, "Do you know Rue?"

"Rue?" she repeats. She shakes her head. "No, I didn't, but she lived very close by. She was a sweet girl."

I nod, daring not to speak, knowing that tears could spill any second.

Peeta, being him, recognizes that the tears are coming back and quickly says, "Katniss, did you see the Meadow? It's almost completely green! Just like before."

It's my turn for my face to break out into a smile. "All right, let's go out and see it."

Peeta turns to Celandine and says, "Could you watch the store for a while?" She nods. And with a wink, he says, "I'll get some more people to work here, so you won't always be with me.

* * *

He grabs my hand and we walk towards the Meadow. When we're there, my eyes open in amazement. Just like the old days, where Prim was never in fear of being Reaped and when my father was alive. I shake this thought away from me. Life is better now; I've grown into a better person, and plus I have Peeta. I have Peeta.

"No one's even seeded it, and it's already grown back," he says. Picking a flower, he says, "For you, Katniss," and tucks it behind my ear.

We grin at each other, blushing from ear to ear. After a few hours of chitchat, Peeta leaves. "I have to go, Celandine can't control the counter by herself this long yet."

* * *

I nod. When he's out of eyesight, I pull out a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Maybe you aren't the monster I thought you were for so long. You helped me devise the Real or Not Real Game. You helped me learn about myself. I even remembered your favorite color. I remember something so insignificant, yet I can't remember all the moments we shared? The good ones, the real ones, that is. You left though. After you blurted out, "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." Those words are echoing in my head; I can't get rid of them. Is this the effect you once had on me? It feels…nice. You didn't have to leave. I wanted to know more. Am I too greedy? Or is it natural to want the life I once had? Help me, Katniss. Even if so much bad comes out of this mission, at least I might get to know myself a little better._

_Sincerely,  
Peeta_

* * *

I left because I didn't want to cry, Peeta. I don't even know why I said that. But it's all right now, knowing you learned about it. Peeta, I wish too that one day, you'll truly come back. I realize something. The future is bright again. It's full of hope, and this time, you'll be there with me.

* * *

**A/N: I intended to write more than one chapter this week, as I had a couple days off due to Thanksgiving (which reminds me, to any U.S. readers, I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving), but me being me, I didn't. But hopefully, this fluff-filled chapter will make it up. This is my twenty-sixth chapter. Amazing. I have come this far along. I am sad to say though, this story might be over in about ten chapters. But, I am including an epilogue, and I am very excited for it. Oh, and I almost forgot, do you like the new O/C so far? I hope her name is fitting, since she is from District 11. Celandine is a kind of wildflower. That's it, so I hope you have a great day!**


	27. Forget Your Woes

Forget Your Woes

* * *

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

* * *

As I walk home, I reflect on the day. Images of Peeta, Celandine, the Bakery, and the Meadow flicker through my mind, reminding me of what I still have left to grasp onto. The stars blink throughout the sky, as if they're chatting to each other. I wonder if Prim is one of them. And Rue. I smile sadly up the sky and continue my walk back to the Victor's Village. They're in a better place now. A much better place.

I walk sleepily to my bed, and await for a sleep free of nightmares. Anything but a nightmare would be nice tonight. I close my eyes and drift off into sleep.

* * *

A piercing low yell startles me, making me sit straight up in my bed. The voice screams again. This time, I recognize it. Peeta.

Pulling a robe over my nightgown, I rush downstairs and run across the slightly wet grass to Peeta's house. I open the unlocked doorknob and rush in. I hear two voices, one rough and one soft. Haymitch is here.

I cautiously walk up the stairs, trying to avoid any noise. I walk into Peeta's bedroom, seeing Haymitch rubbing Peeta's back and whispering in his ear.

Haymitch sees me, and motions for me to come over. Still rubbing Peeta's back, he gruffly whispers in my ear, with a grin, "Come over to Peeta's for the night?"

I squint my eyes. "I came over for the same reason you came," I growl, eyes darting to the now whimpering Peeta.

"I'll leave now, I guess then, now that you are here," he smirks.

I glare at him as he walks out of the room.

* * *

"Katniss?" a soft murmur comes from behind me.

I turn around, Peeta reaches out and clings to my arm. "Yes?" I whisper.

"I had a nightmare. We were in our first games, and you died, trying to protect me. Don't ever leave me," he says.

"I won't," I say, remembering the night Peeta comforted me.

Peeta opens his eyes and looks into mine. He whispers, "Come here."

I nod. I lay under the arm now wrapped under my shoulder. I rest my head against his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming over, Katniss. I really appreciate it," he says, muffled against my hair.

I nod as I close my eyes, but I open them again as Peeta speaks again. "Katniss, will you sing to me?"

"What?" I say, a little too abruptly. Trying to smooth out my blurt, I try again. "Sure, I guess."

He nods and smiles as he closes his eyes.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes," I sing, moving the hair out of his eyes, "And when you awake, the sun will rise."

He looks back up at me again and says, "Thank you, Katniss. You really do have a lovely voice."

I smile ruefully, as I think of how my father once sung, and how the Mockingjays would always listen. I close my eyes as I imagine his voice and the Mockingjays, perfectly harmonizing each other.

* * *

When I wake up, Peeta is gone and I find a note on the bedside table.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Went over to the Bakery, I left some bagels at your house. _

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Peeta_

* * *

At home, I find a bagel sitting on the counter. One last thing to get, though. I grab a letter from the fireplace mantle, and sit down at the counter. I open it.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Gale. I hate him. I don't know why, but I do. The doctors said before when I filled up with anger at the sight of Gale that, this would be normal. It feels normal. I was jealous of him once, wasn't I? I still am. No wonder you like him more than me. He didn't try to kill you, did he? And he kissed you. And it wasn't for the show, either. We all know you picked him, Katniss. Now, just tell us. It'll make me feel better, knowing the cold, hard truth. He can hunt, he can fight, I see why you like him better. Just tell me you want him, and I'll calm down. Hopefully._

_Sincerely, _

_Peeta_

* * *

He doesn't get it, does he? I always picked him, but I never knew, until now. Peeta, he is who I want. Not Gale. Never Gale. Always Peeta. Peeta, just believe my words. Maybe I won't say them for a long time, but I think I might love you. I don't love Gale, I love you.


	28. Home

Home

* * *

_"I squeeze my eyes shut and try to reach for him across the hundreds and hundreds of miles, to send my thoughts into his mind, to let him know he is not alone."_

* * *

It feels like a daily routine now, going to Peeta's bakery. I think I'll drop by there today, on the way to the woods. I grab my quiver and bow, slinging my backpack as I head out the door.

* * *

As I walk to the bakery, I take in my surroundings. The leaves are turning yellow, orange, red, a plethora of colors are at my feet. It kind of reminds me of a sunset after a long day. I chime into the bakery, where Celandine greets me.

* * *

"Looking for Peeta?" she says, with a genuine grin.

I nod and say, "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

She nods, slowly. "A beautiful but sad day," she says, looking at her feet, "My father and mother died today, five years ago. The rest of my family died during the rebellion. That's why I came here."

She looks up, realizing that I'm still at the counter. "I'm sorry," she murmurs, "I didn't mean to say all of that."

"It's all right," I mumble, "I've been through it. Peeta has. A lot of people have. You're not alone."

Celandine reaches out to wipe a tear from her golden eyes.

"You're from District 11, right? What kind of work did you do?" I ask.

"Harvesting. Mainly fruits and vegetables, like strawberries or asparagus," she replies, looking a little confused.

"I can show you a place where life is new. Like a fresh page on a book. Or a newly picked strawberry, I guess," I say, looking into her golden eyes.

She nods, a smile spreading over her face. I reflect a rare smile back.

* * *

I walk with her to the forest, where at first glance, the ends of her mouth turn up even further, if that was possible.

"We've never had woods like these. I've always wished we did; I loved climbing trees," she sighs, picking at one of the many leaves.

I lead her over to the strawberry patch, which has grown a remarkable amount in the last couple of weeks. "It's beautiful," she says, plopping down onto the heart. She picks a few with her cameral hands and smells them. "Just like home," she whispers to herself.

We pick strawberries until there are no more. "I suppose I shouldn't be enjoying this, considering the Capitol made me do the work I slaved over for hours, but it feels like a bit of home," Celandine says to me, her eyes twinkling.

I show her the small herb patch, where she happily picks a few for Peeta. We even stumble upon a little meadow of celandines.

* * *

I fall into the soft flowers, following her actions. She picks a few. As she fondles over the flowers, I pull out a letter from my backpack.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Kill me. Please. I haven't told you yet, but the words are wandering inside my head, wondering if they'll ever take action. Just do it. It can be quick. I'll feel no pain, and you won't either. You have Gale, right? Even if you ever loved me, you wouldn't anymore. I'm not the kind, loving Peeta they said I was. I killed so many. I killed that poor girl from District 8 during our first games, Foxface, Brutus, and now Mitchell. All were innocent, even Brutus. I don't deserve life anymore. I don't deserve anything. So please, just make my last wish come true, and kill me._

_Sincerely, _

_Peeta_

* * *

Peeta…why did you have to do this to yourself? You shouldn't have. You don't deserve anything? I don't deserve anything. I would never kill you, Peeta. I couldn't, even if I had to. I realized Peeta, that wherever you are, I call home. That cave in our first games, it felt like home; the beach in the quell, it felt like home; and here in District 12, it feels like home. You are so important to me. Never, ever think like that again.

* * *

My thoughts are interrupted by a voice behind me.

"Katniss?" it speaks. "Are you all right?"

I turn around, and I see Celandine, standing right behind me, with two bouquets of flowers in her hand. I reach up to my eyes and notice they're wet. From crying.

"Just fine," I lie, "I'll explain it to you later, believe me, I will."

She nods and we walk back to the bakery, a bouquet in each hand.

* * *

**A/N: Mother of all love and goodness in the world, this story has reached a hundred reviews. I can't believe it. It's so amazing. And now I will take the time to give out a shout-out to another one of my amazing reviewers, NollasBlack. She has always been constructive and just, I guess, amazing. Thank you all for supporting me along this rocky journey. Have an amazing day.**


	29. Couldn't

Couldn't

* * *

_"Peeta. Back in Snow's hands. Tortured and tormented until no bits of his former self will ever emerge again."_

* * *

I open door to the bakery, still holding the bouquet of celandines in my hands.

Peeta rushes over, gasping, "Where were you two? I was looking all over town!"

I firmly grasp him by the shoulders and say, "We were in the woods. You didn't have to worry about us."

He nods and replies, "I was…just so worried. That you might have left."

I nod.

Peeta clears his throat and says, "I'll be closing the bakery in a few, so you guys can head on home."

I shrug and reply, "I'll wait here for you."

With a wave and a short bye, Celandine leaves, walking into the distance.

* * *

"Hey Katniss," he says, "It's raining. Good thing you came back just before it started."

Small talk. Typical Peeta. "Huh, I guess you are right. Hopefully Celandine doesn't live too far from the bakery," I reply.

"She lives down the street, I believe. She lives alone."

I nod, knowing how it feels, to be alone. "Maybe we can invite her over for dinner, one day. That would be nice. I really like her, you know. She…understands me."

Peeta looks at me and says, "I understand you too, Katniss. Don't ever forget that."

I nod. No one understands me better than Peeta. Not Gale. Not my mother. Not even Prim.

Locking the door, Peeta grabs the bouquet of flowers from my hand and whispers in my ear, "For me?"

I whisper back, "Always."

* * *

We walk to the Victor's Village, holding hands, whispering in each other's ears, and laughing. Like nothing bad had ever happened.

When we stop at the door of my house, Peeta says nervously, "I guess I'll go now."

Out of nowhere, Peeta cups my face in his palms and leans in. His lips touch mine and for the third time, I feel a spark. It was an innocent kiss. But, it was like no other.

He blushes. "I'm sorry," he whispers, not looking into my eyes, "I…just had to."

I feel my cheeks heat up. I murmur, "It's all right."

"Bye then," he says, leaning forward to give me another kiss, this time on the cheek. My cheeks grow even hotter. I wave back.

As soon as he is out of sight, I rush into my house, locking the door quickly. I sit down on the couch. What just happened? Maybe this is it. Peeta, he's coming back to me. He really is.

* * *

I sigh. I pull out a letter from the side table next to me and began reading, trying to clear my mind.

_Dear Katniss_,

_You didn't want to kill me. No one wanted to. Why? Is it because they think I deserve to live? Well, I don't. Honestly, all of us don't. We, the victors, have all killed, ripped apart families and souls. We deserve to die. To disappear from this world. But, why do you want to live? Is it because of Prim? Prim, she's wonderful. I have no one. Absolutely no one. They're all gone. Dead. In the ashes that are scattered across District 12. You think we'll fix this mess Snow made? I don't know if we will. I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want anyone to suffer from me and my actions. I still don't understand. You don't want to kill me. Tell me, Katniss. Maybe I'll understand. Since I won't be dying at this moment, maybe you can help make my life worth living. _

_Sincerely, _

_Peeta_

* * *

Boggs wanted to kill you. I never did. Maybe you weren't the Peeta I knew, but you were still you, deep down, no matter how tortured you were. You were still that pure angel who threw me the bread. I guess, I couldn't let you go. I couldn't. In the first arena, I couldn't just let you die, in that cold cave that was our home. In the second arena, I couldn't bear with the fact that I let you go. I believed you would never come back, but you did. I still blame myself to this second, for leaving you. It was never your fault. Don't blame yourself. But now, it's okay. We're together now, aren't we? You're not alone.

* * *

**A/N: Finally. The kiss, the one we've all been waiting for, right? And on an extremely important note: I have a Tumblr now! So if you want to contact me outside of Fanfiction, you can go follow me on Tumblr. My username is thestarswillstillshine (now has changed to chris-and-becca) and the link is also on my profile. Thank you so much for reading and I wish you a happy holidays! **


	30. Why

Why

* * *

_"I just...I just miss him. And I hate being so alone."_

* * *

It's late at night, but I'm not tired. My mind is still racing from tonight's events. How does he have that effect on me? Does he feel the same way? I call the one person who I know can tell me.

* * *

"Johanna?" I say into the phone. "It's Katniss."

The voice on the other end scoffs and says, "Hello, brainless. Peeta knocked you up yet?"

I blush and say, "No. He kissed me though. I don't know what to think of it."

She sighs and says with a smirk, "One step closer, I suppose. Why did you even call me? You know that I wouldn't have a straight answer."

I reply, "We were good friends in 13, right? You really are one of the few people who can make me smile. I just…needed some time with a friend, who can understand me."

"Isn't Peeta there for that?"

I sigh. "I don't know what to think. Things are a little complicated. You, him, Annie, and Haymitch, believe it or not, are the only people I can really trust. And the other three don't fit my needs right now."

"At least you have someone," she murmurs.

"Johanna, you have me," I remind her.

"Why?" she asks. "Why do you trust me?"

"All those times in 13; did you forget? You were like my sister. You helped me, when I was alone, without any direction. I was so alone. I still am."

"I guess so," she replies. Another voice comes from the other end, not her own. "Sorry Katniss, to ruin this sentimental moment, but I have to go cut down some trees. Got a new job."

"Bye, then. Maybe I could see you later," I say.

"Maybe."

And then the line goes dead. Maybe Johanna wasn't the best candidate for the job, but there's something about her sarcasm and her sickly advice that ignites a flame in me.

I flop onto the couch and close my eyes. Everything is dark, and I fall into a world nothing like my own.

* * *

A knock on the door wakes me. I brush the dust off of my clothes as I slowly walk to the door.

A stream of light and a bright smile greets me. "Hi, Katniss. I just wanted to drop some bread off. I'll be at the bakery, as usual, if you need me."

I nod, sleepily and accept his gift. He waves and I wave back. It's like a morning ritual now.

I sit down at the morning counter and push away the bag Peeta gave me. Did he purposely avoid the topic of last night, or is he waiting for me to start it? I'm so confused.

* * *

In an attempt to clear my mind, I read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Might as well do something useful, if I'm alive. I passed you a can of lamb stew today, in the Capitol apartment. You looked slightly pleased. You remember that time with happiness? I suppose it was one of the only happy moments I've had in the Games. Besides finding you, from what I've been told. You seem happy, sitting there, with Gale. I'm almost happy for you. Right now, we're watching some ridiculous scam on TV now, hosted by Snow. He claims you're dead. But, you're not; you're well and alive and breathing, sitting next to me. Even I'm not that crazy to believe that. Or am I?_

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

I guess this didn't clear my mind because I have so many questions. Why Peeta, do you bully yourself into this? They torture you, and then you torture yourself even further. Don't think you are worthless. You are the world to me. Don't deem yourself crazy. I can overlook that. Why did they choose you, to be tortured? It should have been me. We are all better off without me. When you know something good happened, you deny it. You try to trick yourself into thinking that never happened, that I never saw it. Why do this to yourself, when you have such a rich life in front of you? It's not fair. But then again, since when was anything fair?

* * *

**A/N: Happy New Year (or New Year's Eve, for me)! Can you believe that this story has been in the works for nearly half a year? I would also like to say (again) that I have a Tumblr now, so you can now contact me somewhere else besides Fanfiction. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day!**


	31. Not the Same

Not the Same

* * *

_"Peeta and I grow back together. There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over. I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children."_

* * *

The bakery door rings as I step into the shop. Celandine rushes out of the kitchen and greets me.

"Hello, Katniss. Peeta's over in the kitchen," she says, with a grin forming on her face.

I return a smile and walk into the kitchen, where a flour-covered Peeta is making bread.

"Katniss," he greets. "Do you need anything?"

I murmur, for only him to hear, "I need to talk to you."

Some of the color from his face drains, but his smile remains intact. "All right," he says. "How about we go outside?"

I nod.

As soon as we are outside, alone, he blurts, "I'm sorry."

It's clear that the kiss is still on both of our minds. I look to the ground and quietly reply, "I am too."

"I shouldn't have done it. It was too quick, wasn't it?" he says, shaking his head.

"I don't know. Everything is just so different now. I don't know what to think."

Peeta sighs, "It's not like the old days, where everything was done for another person's entertainment. This is life, not just some reality show. I should have thought of what I was doing."

I grab his hand and look into his eyes. "It's not your fault. And Peeta, to be honest, it wasn't all that bad."

He looks up into my eyes and grins. "Really?"

"Yes," I reply, with my eyes gleaming with joy.

I wrap my arms around his waist and murmur into his neck, "Everything might not be the same, but isn't that a good thing?"

* * *

By the end of the day, we're both laughing and covered in flour.

I drag him over to my house, where we eat a steaming bowl of lamb stew Peeta makes.

The question comes unnoticed and clear.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask.

Peeta averts his eyes from the stew and looks up. "Definitely."

Shocked by his answers, I blurt out, "Why?"

He looks at me and says, with a smirk, "Why not? We've been through so much, so I think we can make it through one night."

I smile. The feeling is still strange, but it makes me feel happy, an emotion that I rarely happen to come upon.

"Let me go back to my house to get my stuff," he says. He walks out the door, leaving his stew unfinished.

* * *

A letter. I have to read one now. Before he comes back. I don't want him to break down, but the letters…they have almost become a part of me, a part of Peeta. It's something I can't go to sleep without, like Peeta.

* * *

I grab a letter and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Today, I made someone laughed. But, it was for all the wrong reasons. It's such a foreign feeling. Pollux, he looked uncomfortable at my feeble attempt at a joke. I shouldn't have done it. Pollux has been through so much, becoming an Avox, living in the underground for five years, why did I joke about it? I know what it's like to be trapped, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone to make my tortures a joke. Life doesn't work that way. What did you think of it? Were you disgusted at me? Or did you think I was becoming the old me? Maybe I'm not because if I was, I would be constantly happy and making people genuinely laugh. Did you laugh? Do you still remember the old me? What was I like? Nothing like the person I am now, right? Did you like me, before? I'm not the same; that I know for sure. Will anything be the same again? Will it? _

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

Why did you make such a big fuss out of just a small joke? Pollux knew you were trying to lighten up the mood. Why are you so hard on yourself? It's not fair, to you and me. I was not disgusted; I was glad, that you were returning to your old life, the way you used to be. I didn't laugh, but I was smiling, on the inside. I would never forget the old you, or you entirely. You saved my life. You changed my life. Sometimes, I think…you are my life. You're getting better. Our lives won't ever be the same…but we can strive to make our lives better than before. It's not the same, but I think our new life is just as good.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the lack of update last week. I was just disturbingly busy. I'm pretty busy this week, but I swore to myself I had to update, in the fear that my readers would think that I abandoned this story. Also, I have an idea for a story prequel. Inspired by one of my favorite authors, museofmirth, I want to recreate this story, but from Peeta's POV, meaning the story will be a journey of Peeta healing and writing the letters shown in the story. Please visit the poll on my profile (it'll be answering this question) and thank you all again for supporting me. Have a great day!**


	32. Hiding

Hiding

* * *

_"Peeta and I grow back together."_

* * *

I hear the door open and I quickly shove the letter away, the cracks between the sofa cushions, in the vase, anywhere is okay. As long as Peeta doesn't see.

Peeta walks into the living room, with a large duffel bag hoisted over his shoulder.

"Can you show me your room?" he asks with a grin.

I grin back. "Sure," I reply.

When we're walking upstairs, he reaches out, as if he were to hold my hand. "Can I?" he asks, with a mischievous grin dancing on his lips.

I glance at his blue eyes, shining with hope, not clouded with fear, and grab his hand. "Any time, Baker Boy," I reply.

He laughs, a genuine laugh, a whole-hearted laugh, the laugh I haven't heard for so long.

How long have we been here, in District 12, since the war? I don't know. Has time been flying? Or is it just an illusion? I'm not too sure.

We drop off Peeta's duffel bag in my room and rush down to finish our stews.

* * *

We spend dinner feeding each other. Is this love?

When the dishes are washed, the fire is put out, and the lights are turned off, we go upstairs, still holding hands.

* * *

He changes into a pair of old gray sweatpants and a dirty old blue t-shirt. I smile at this. Just like the old times.

When the amiable chatter slows down and we're both settled in bed, he says, looking into my eyes, "I know you're hiding something from me."

I avert my eyes from his stare and say, "I haven't."

He laughs and says, "You can't lie, Katniss. I know you have been reading the letters."

"Maybe I have, so what?" I say, anger sneaking into my voice.

"You haven't told me. That's the problem. Why won't you accept that I'm here for you now, and that you don't have to rely on the past?" he says, unusually calm.

I whisper, "I don't know."

"You don't have to hide anything from me anymore. I promise Katniss, I'll be here for you," Peeta whispers in reply.

* * *

I walk downstairs and pull out the next letter. Peeta and I, we'll read it this time. It'll be good for us.

I walk back into my room, and Peeta has already sat up on my bed.

"We'll read it together," he says, firmly.

I say, with a small grin, "That's exactly what I was planning to do."

* * *

I open up the letter and we begin reading, silently, without any words spoken.

_Dear Katniss,_

_You care for me. Real or not real? I asked you if you were still trying to protect me. You said real. Is that true? Are you? I'm so confused. Life is a mess, and I can't distinguish anything from each other. Are you a monster or a hero? I think you are a hero, but a part of me believes you are a monster. Mockingjays need wings to survive. You're a Mockingjay, right? That's what you represent, at least. You were kind to me, tonight. No harsh words were spoken. Not like I remember. In my shiny memories, you tried to kill me. You tried to use words to put me down. I'm so confused. Because you aren't. You're trying to help me and my brain is thinking you are trying to kill me. I know you aren't. Please, just help me. You already are, believe me. But, I'm not sure what to think._

_Sincerely, _

_Peeta_

* * *

A clouded look starts to form over Peeta's eyes.

I shriek, "No, Peeta, stop!"

His eyes immediately avert back to his old, sky blue.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't."

"I didn't mean to write all these nasty letters. I didn't mean to turn into a mutt. I didn't mean to try to kill you. It _wasn't_ me, Katniss. It wasn't," he says, voice growing louder with every word.

"I know you didn't," I say, grabbing his shoulders, staring in his eyes.

He says, "Are you sure? Because I'm a terror. Why do you even bother to help me?"

I reply, "Because you helped me, when I was alone and scared. You were the candle to my fire, I suppose."

"I still don't understand," he whispers, like an innocent child. "Can I go to sleep?"

"Yes you can, Peeta," I whisper back. I grab his hand and we close our eyes.

When he thinks I'm asleep, I hear him murmur, "I love you, Katniss."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this piece of Everlark fluff/angst. If you haven't already, I strongly urge you to vote on the poll on my profile. It's very important, especially if you want to see more writing from me. And also, I would appreciate if any of you follow me on Tumblr (link is on profile)! I'll follow you back, I promise. It's a heck of a lot easier to contact me and see what I'm up to. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!**


	33. For You

For You

* * *

_"Not only does he hate me and wants to kill me, he no longer believes I'm human. It was less painful being strangled."_

* * *

When I wake up, I look over to Peeta's side of the bed. Empty. He must have gone to the bakery already.

I begin walking towards the kitchen, knowing there will be a treat for me, when I hear a crash. A moan follows. Forgetting my plans for breakfast, I rush downstairs.

"Peeta?" I call out. My heart rate speeds up as my breathing gets heavier. What did I do to him, that made him like this? I circle the hallways unknowingly. He could be dead for all I know.

I hear another crash. I know where he is. But I can't go there. I just can't. I know I'll have to, if I want to help Peeta. I muster up all my strength and walk into the study.

* * *

The first thing that strikes me is the strong scent of artificial roses. It's still there. The next thing I notice is that the window is broken. The third thing I notice is Peeta sprawled across the ground, covered in blood.

* * *

"Peeta," I gasp. "What happened?"

He looks into my eyes, with his pupils dark and dilated. "Mutt," he growls. "Get away from me."

"I'm not a mutt, Peeta," I say, trying to keep my voice calm and comforting. "I'm only trying to help you."

"You smell of roses," he snarls. "I know you're a mutt. Stop lying to me."

Every word he speaks tears my heart a little more. I know he's not being himself, but I can't stop myself from feeling like this.

I grab his hand and hold it tightly. He tries to pull his hand away, but I don't let him go. His eyes dilate back and forth. "You'll be all right," I whisper. "I won't let you go. I promise."

We stay like this for a few minutes, me holding his hand and him occasionally muttering something I can't discern. If he could only come back to his true self, and never return to that hell Snow made for him. I miss the old him, I really do, but I'll just have to fight through the wars. I always have.

His eyes turn to his normal sky blue. It's the little things in life that make me want to go on, and one of them is the perfect shade of blue Peeta's eyes behold. It's simply perfect.

He looks at my hands, covered in blood. "Katniss," he says, his voice shaky and terrified. "What did I do to you?"

I realize I cut myself from the shards of glass but I can let this go. I've survived worse. "You didn't do anything," I reply.

He looks me in the eyes and says, "Yes, I did. I hurt you, Katniss. I can't do this to you. I have to leave. I'm sorry."

"Peeta, the blood isn't even mine. It's yours," I cry, desperate. "Please, don't go."

"Look around you, Katniss. You're bleeding, your windows are broken, and you still want me to stay? Katniss, this is only for your own good."

He walks out of the study and shuts the door. "You're only hurting me more by leaving," I whisper to myself.

I clean off the blood from my hands, but I don't clean up the shards of glass scattered on the ground. It's not look I'll ever go back there.

* * *

I read a letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I'm a mutt. I know it for sure. I'm not sure what those monsters were, but I knew they were just like me. Blood-thirsty and with no living heart. I'm just like those scaly monsters. Fake and murderous. Why don't you let me die? You didn't let me go. You didn't leave me to die. Instead, you kissed me. I felt something, Katniss, I really did. A part of the old me came back. I felt different. It was a strange feeling, and I can't really describe it, but I know it was a happy feeling. You wanted to stay with me. And I want to stay with you, but I can't let you hurt yourself anymore. We can do this, you know. We've survived worse. I have survived worse. So, we'll always be there for each other from now on? Always?_

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

I know you don't want to hurt me, but letting me go just hurts me more. I thought we promised each other that we wouldn't leave each other, especially in the hardest of times. I guess you need a break from me. From my fiery, hard, dark soul. I can understand. But, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you too. Always.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry the no update last week. I was quite busy doing some schoolwork, and I still am, but I have to make this up for you. This chapter is really angsty, but angst is just this weird part of the Everlark relationship, and I felt I needed to bring that out more. And remember to vote on my poll! Once again, thank you all for reading and I hope you have a great day!**


	34. Still

Still

* * *

_"I think I hate him even more than I do Haymitch."_

* * *

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm a victor. I survived a rebellion. I'm broken. I am in District 12. Peeta and Haymitch are in District 12. More people are moving back to District 12. New people are coming. I'm still broken. I haven't called Dr. Aurelius in weeks. Peeta is ignoring me, keeping a distance. He says it's for my safety. I see it as hatred. I'm alone. And I'm still broken.

* * *

I repeat what I know for sure inside my head over and over, as if it was a drill. The phone rings. It's Dr. Aurelius. I know this for sure. Who else would call me?

"Katniss," a gruff voice says on the other end.

"Haymitch?" I say, holding back the surprise in my voice.

He scoffs and says, "Who else?"

"I don't know. Dr. Aurelius, I suppose," I reply.

"You need to come over," he grumbles.

"What for?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

He hangs up. He knows.

* * *

I drag myself over to Haymitch's house because who knows what he would do if I didn't show up. A drunk Haymitch is scary, but a sober Haymitch is even worse.

* * *

I push open the door slowly, bracing myself for the lecture that will come. I walk over to the kitchen, where Haymitch usually is. He sits on a bar stool, tapping his fingers and watching me.

The house is silent. We stare at each other for a few minutes until I manage to ask, "What do you want?"

He smirks, "Why do you think you're here?"

"Peeta."

He smiles. "Right you are, girly. He was only meaning the best for you."

"He wasn't."

"Now how do you know that?" he asks, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Because I do."

He replies, "I think you're thinking that Peeta is hurting you more by not being with you."

"Right…" I say slowly.

"You have to understand though," he says. "Peeta feels that he's already hurt you enough, and he doesn't want to hurt you anymore."

Anger is boiling up in me inside. "So what?" I screech. "I don't think _you_ understand. He's isolated himself from me. This won't go any better, only worse."

Haymitch's voice gets softer. "Why do you care?"

My voice gets louder. "How can I not? I love him," I scream.

At first, Haymitch looks shocked. Then, he smiles. And finally, he lets out a laugh. When he finally composes himself, he says, smirking, "Sweetheart, I already knew that."

"Was that your point? To make me admit something?" I ask, trying to act calm.

"No, it wasn't. But, it's an added plus," he replies, still smirking.

I want to slap that grin off his face.

"Did Peeta set you up to do this?" I ask, temper rising.

"No, he didn't. He just told me what happened," he says, a little too smugly.

I can't deal with this anymore. I walk out his house and slam the door. I know he means for the best. But he is just so terrible at it. Makes me feel like shit. That's probably why he did it. He knows the guilt will overcome me, and then, according to his plan, everything will turn out "all right."

* * *

I storm back into my house. I scream. I yell. I kick. I do anything to get my anger out. When I'm finally relieved of my rage, I read a letter. Like I always have.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I'm so tired. Why I am writing you this? I don't know. But it only seems right. We played Real or Not Real again. I wouldn't necessarily call it "playing," but how else would I describe it? I answered a question today though. Did you ask me that out of pity, or to make me remember my own past? Or did you not even know yourself? Was I really the reason you were alive to get the medicine? Were you? Everything's so confusing. It's a swirl of memories. I can't distinguish what's real and what's not real. But, I guess that's why we're playing this game. To help me. Is this helping you? Are we becoming friends as a result of this? Do you care for me? Do you? I think you do. You're trying to help me get better, and I think am. But I can't tell. I don't know my past, but I suppose you're the one to tell me. _

_Love, _

_Peeta_

* * *

My heart pounds. Not because of the fact that he was beginning to trust me then, or because we were beginning to get our old friendship back, but because he signed his letter as "Love." My emotions are a swirl of anger and love. I'm angry because he can affect me this way, making me feel weak and defenseless. I'm in love though. He finally sees the real me. Or what appears to be the real me. I want to apologize to him, but at the same time, I can't. How is that he still makes me feel this way?

* * *

**A/N: When did we hit over a hundred followers? I don't really remember, but I'm intensely grateful for it. We're up to 135 reviews, 117 followers, 71 favorites, and nearly 34,000 hits. This is crazy. Thank you. I can't tell you that enough. And for some real news, I changed my Tumblr url to chris-and-becca (again, the link is on my profile), and I want you to vote on the poll on my profile. It would mean so much to me if you checked out both my Tumblr and my profile, so please do. I've already started brainstorming ideas for my new prequel. What do you think of the title ****_Letters to No One_****? If you're confused about what I'm talking about, check out my Author's Note on Chapter 31. It'll help you out a lot. Again, thank you for reading (and bearing through this long Author's Note), and I hope you have a great day!**


	35. Trying

Trying

* * *

_"Did I do it? Was it enough?"_

* * *

Everything is spinning. Nothing seems real. Life is a mix of dreams and reality. I can't differiante the two anymore. It's a blur. My nightmares are creeping into my life, and vice versa. I can't control anything, not my feelings, not my actions, it's like another human being took over my own body.

A knock on the door snaps me out of my wanderings.

Peeta?

* * *

I open the door. Peeta stands there, shuffling his feet on the doormat. His eyes stare as his feet, and his hands are hidden behind his back. As soon as he notices me, he looks into my eyes and reveals a bouquet of flowers.

"Primroses?" I whisper.

He nods. He leans forward and envelopes me in a hug. "I'm sorry," he whispers in reply.

"It's okay, you're here now, aren't you?"

"I found them," he says, after he releases me. "The primroses. They were on the edge of the woods. I was looking for you. I thought you might be there, so I went to check. And I found these."

I wipe a tear from my eye. I can barely reply, my voice shattered by his act of generosity. "Thank you," I mutter.

"Anything for you, Katniss."

* * *

"Do you want to come in?" I ask.

He cracks a grin and says, "Now, why wouldn't I?"

I think we both know the answer. I let him in my house, anyways. We plop onto to the worn-down couch, and he grasps my hand with his.

"How's the bakery going?" I ask, making an attempt at small talk.

His eyes glow as he replies, "Oh, it's great! We're getting new regulars every day, and I'm getting to know all the new townsfolk. Celandine is such a great help, but I'm also thinking we might need another person to help out."

I could," I stammer. "You know, help out?"

Peeta grins even harder. "I suppose you could man the register," he says, with a wink.

"I could bring in some herbs and stuff once in a while, too. So you could make like—herbey breads?"

Peeta chuckles. An hour of small talk and chatter passes by. Time flies when I'm with him, doesn't it?

Out of the blue, Peeta blurts out, "Do you want to move in with me?"

"What?"

Peeta's cheeks and the tip of his ears turn bright red. "I shouldn't have asked," he mutters.

I grip him by the shoulder. "No, you should have. Of course I will."

"Can we move in here? In your house?" he asks.

"Of course. I'm happy to oblige."

"Well, I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy, too."

We grin at each other. Is this really happening? I still can't differienate dream from reality. I'm hoping it's reality.

"There's a lot to pack. I better go now if I want to move in today," he says, with a wink.

"I'll be there in a few. I just need to tidy up the house here before you officially move in so it at least looks decent," I reply, with a grin.

* * *

As soon as he walks out of the front door, smiling and waving, I sprint towards the stack of letters like I sprinted out of the bloodbath in my first Hunger Games. I open the letter and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_You don't know the effect you have. Still, after all these years. After everyone telling you. I suppose words can become meaningless after a while, but still. I think you can kill Snow. I think you really can. I want you to, for me, for the children lost, for the families grieving, everyone. Every person we lost on the way here, they died believing you could. Keep on fighting, Katniss. I hope you'll believe me, and that you'll take my words to heart. You seemed focused when I spoke, so I'm just crossing my fingers you will. Please, Katniss, if you believe that people are rooting for you, I think you can do it. You have done the impossible already, so I am confident you can do more._

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

Your voice was the only one that truly reached out to me. Not Cressida's, not Gale's, only yours. There's an air of determination that went around with it. I did fight Peeta, I did fight. I fought for you. I fought for every tribute who never came out as a victor. I fought for the victors. Did I do good enough Peeta? I'm still trying.


	36. New

New

* * *

_"That's right, we're almost home."_

* * *

The doorbell rings again, and sloppily plopping the letter down on the end table as I make my way, I rush over towards the front door. I open the door, and the first sight I see is a stack of boxes that appear to have a pair of feet. A sweaty, bright red face pops up behind them. "Care to help, Katniss?" Peeta manages to wheeze out.

I manage to stifle in a giggle and reply, "Of course, Peeta." I take two boxes off from the top.

"Thank you. Normally I wouldn't ask you for help, but they're quite heavy," Peeta admits.

I stutter out, "They are kind of heavy. There are more, I presume?"

"A load more," Peeta responds. "And we got the paintings."

I drop the boxes off in the living room. "Just put them in here, we can carry them up or wherever they need to go later," I call out.

"That would be great," I hear Peeta yell in response.

* * *

I run over to Peeta's house, eager to help out with his work. Is this really happening? Peeta and I are moving in together. I wonder, I wonder if he dreamed of this before, us moving in together. Would he have wanted it to be like this? I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I'm happy, the happiest I've been in a long time. As soon as I open the door, the first thing I notice is a high pile of boxes. "Jeez, Peeta, how long have you been waiting to move in with me?" I joke.

Peeta laughs, "For a while." He winks at me. Butterflies start to flutter in my stomach. I do love him. I really do.

We laugh, we giggle, and we joke. The high stack of boxes at Peeta's is slowly disappearing and reappearing, only this time, at my house. Box after box is dragged from his house to my house. Haymitch even pitches in.

"What's going on here?" Haymitch grumbles as he steps out of his house. "Moving in together?" He winks.

Peeta, oblivious to Haymitch's suggestive remark, replies, "Yep. It's about time, don't you think?"

Haymitch grins. "I suppose I could help, and then leave you to your own little…_festivities._"

I groan in horror, slapping my hand to my forehead. Peeta raises his eyebrows, but laughs along with Haymitch. We may have lost our families, but along the way, we have created our own. We may be broken, but we've pieced each other again. We may have lost our way, but together, we wrote a new map.

* * *

Time flies even faster. Every paintbrush, every rolling-pin, every letter is somehow now in my house. "I better get going now, let you get settled in," Haymitch says, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Thank you for the help, Haymitch," Peeta calls out, waving wildly, as Haymitch walks back to his house.

"Do you want to actually unpack all of this?" I ask, pointing to the heap of boxes.

Peeta shakes his head. "Let's wait until tomorrow; I think we've done enough for today," he replies.

I agree whole-heartedly. We flop onto the sofa, exhausted from the day's work. After a few moments of piece and quiet, Peeta says, "Letter."

My eyebrows knit in confusion. "Letter?" I repeat.

"Do you want to read a letter with me? You know, the ones I wrote to you during the rebellion," Peeta confirms.

"Okay," I murmur. Will this go well? I'll take my chances.

* * *

I open up a fresh letter and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_"Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without." Gale's words repeat over and over in my head. What does he mean? Physically or mentally? Physically, you would with Gale. But mentally, I'm not sure. You've known Gale for so long, so it's most likely him. And plus, he doesn't mistake you for a murderous mutt, does he? I always knew it was him, from the very start. And to be honest Katniss, I'm jealous to this day. I'm still jealous. I don't know why. Gale's a good guy. We have our differences, but I'm willing to put this away, to become friends with him. He loves you, and I'm definitely sure you love him. Gale says you love me, but I can't believe that now, after all that I've gone through in the Capitol. No one could love me now. It's okay. I'm willing to accept this. I just want you to be happy, and if you're happy, I'll be happy. _

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

"I'm sorry," Peeta murmurs. "I was so confused, and I just needed to get my thoughts out. There was no other way. I'm sorry to have you see this terrible person inside me."

I press my lips to his forehead. "It's okay, Peeta. I'm willing to accept you, in any shape or form you're in," I whisper.

"I hate this person, this monster that lives inside of me. I can't control it. It's not me."

"I know it isn't."

Peeta sighs. "Why do you bother to even care for me? It would be a lot easier to just ditch me."

"Because I do. I've always cared for you. I've unknowingly watched you from that day in kindergarten. I've looked out for you, just like you have been for me."

"Why?"

"You're amazing, Peeta. You won't ever be able to recognize this yourself, but you are. You can make a person feel better about him or herself in seconds. You can find the light in anything. You can bake. You can fight. You've lost your entire family, and yet you're still hanging on. You were brainwashed into believing things that aren't true, and you are making an effort to rebuild your past. You've suffered through so much, and yet, you're still here. You've become a part of me, Peeta. I don't know how I survived so long without having you in my life, but then again, I guess you always were."

He looks up and whispers, "I love you."

I take a deep breath. I whisper in reply, "I love you, too."


	37. Learning to Forgive

Learning to Forgive

* * *

_"This was the door to both sustenance and sanity. And we were each other's key."_

* * *

Peeta grins and mumbles, "Do you really?"

"Of course I do. I always have," I reply.

"I never thought this would happen. I'm moving in with the girl of my dreams. I've dreamed about this so many times, the life we would share," Peeta whispers.

"You're not dreaming; I can tell you that," I whisper, grinning like a fool.

"But sadly, moving in with you comes with a price. I better start unpacking some boxes," Peeta replies.

We both stand up as the doorbell rings. "I'll get it," I tell him. He nods in answer.

As I walk towards the door, the doorbell rings again. "I'm coming," I yell, a hint of annoyance in my voice.

Haymitch shoves a letter in my hand as soon as I open the door. "Who is it from?" I ask.

"Hawthorne," he growls. "Hazelle gave it to me just now."

"Gale? Why would he write me a letter?" I say absently.

"I don't know sweetheat, that's why I'm giving it to you," he replies. "I better be going now, got geese to feed and alcohol to drink."

* * *

I watch Haymitch cross the yard to his house. Why would Gale send me a letter? Is he trying to apologize? I rip open the letter and begin reading.

_Dear Catnip,_

_It's Gale. How are you? I'm in District 2 now, working as a reporter. You might've seen me on a television every now and then. I'm going to stop myself from rambling now, and I'm going to tell you why I wrote this letter. I'm sorry, Katniss, for putting you through so much pain. I was a jealous fool who wanted you for myself. I didn't understand. My wants were too great, and I only focused on that. I didn't stop and look around. Peeta loves you, Katniss. You should know this by now. As for Prim, I wake up everyday thinking about her. She was like another sister to me, always smiling, always there to help. I can't even fathom yet that I helped do that to her. You may never be able to forgive me, Katniss, I understand. I will live my life forever grieving over the lives I destroyed. I am trying to move on; I am trying to love others. I will always think, care, and love for you, Katniss._

_Sincerely,_

_Gale_

* * *

You were a jealous fool who only wanted me for yourself. You never stopped and looked around. You kept your temper under control at times and began to realize the truth. You could've prevented many things, our relationship, Prim's death. In the end Gale, I will forgive you. You helped me when my life was crumbling. You were the steady constant who I could always rely on. Life goes on, and I may never be able to get over Prim's death, but I can learn to live for the future.

* * *

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Peeta clamor down the stairs. "What's that?" he asks innocently, pointing to the letter in my hands.

"Gale," I manage to spit out. He takes the letter from my hand and quickly reads it.

"He is sorry, you know," Peeta mumbles.

"Sorry isn't always good enough," I reply.

"Do you forgive him?" he asks.

"Of course."

Peeta smiles and says, "I'm glad you do." He reaches out for my hand and squeezes it. "Maybe you should call him."

"I don't know his phone number," I reply.

"You could ask Hazelle."

* * *

I follow Peeta's idea and walk over to Hazelle's new home in the Victor's Village. Now that the Victor's Village is no longer exclusive, others have started moving in, Hazelle being one of the first.

I knock on the door. Hazelle immediately opens it. "Katniss, dear! Come in, come in," she greets me, ushering me in.

She shows me to the living room, where we sit on the worn down couch. "Did Haymitch give you Gale's letter?" Hazelle asks tentatively.

I nod. "Do you know his phone number?"

Surprised, Hazelle replies, "Of course." She scribbles down the phone number on a piece of scrap paper. She hands it to me, and gives me a light kiss on the forehead.

"I hope everything turns all right with you two," she says, looking into my eyes. "You're another daughter to me, Katniss."

"Thank you, Hazelle," I say, hugging her gently.

"You're welcome to visit anytime," she says, waving, as I walk back to my house.

Peeta sits on the porch, sipping a glass of lemonade. Another glass sits next to him. "You got it?" he calls out. I nod. He grins.

Giving me the glass of lemonade, Peeta says, "I'm glad you're doing this Katniss. I really am."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sadly, there will only be a few more chapters, and of course, an epilogue, which I've planned out since the beginning of the story. As for the story, I think it's a very important part of Katniss' growth to learn to forgive, and I hope this chapter really incorporated her development. A huge thanks goes out to every one of my readers! Have a great day! **


	38. All Right

All Right

* * *

_"I feel like I owe him something, and I hate owing people._

* * *

I twiddle my thumbs as I wait Gale to pick up the phone. Will he recognize my voice? Will he be surprised? Will he be mad? Will he be happy to see me calling, to see me initiating the interactions for the first time? Will it be awkward? Or it will be just like the old times, when we relied on each other with all our hearts with not a single worry of betrayal?

As if he can read my mind, Peeta mutters, "It's going to be fine. Don't worry; trust me."

I take a couple deep breaths. The ringing stops, and I hear a low grumble.

"Hello?" the voice says.

"Gale?" I ask tentatively. "It's Katniss."

"Katniss?" he repeats. "Catnip?"

I can practically see the goofy grin on his face as he says Catnip.

"Yeah, it's me. Got your letter," I say, as nonchalantly as possible.

My efforts to stay calm were useless; his voice drops several tones as he mumbles, "Oh."

"I just…I just wanted to say Gale that I forgive you."

There is a momentarily silence. "Thank you," Gale nearly whispers. "Katniss, I didn't mean to – I didn't, I swear. I would never, never—"

"Gale, stop. I know you didn't, and that's why I told you I forgive you."

"Did Peeta read the letter?" Gale asks.

"Yes."

Gale slowly stumbles out, "That's, that's good. It was meant for both of you, in a way."

"Yes, I know," I tell him. Do I know? Or am I just trying to move the conversation along?

"I owe you so much, Katniss. You taught me about love, hunting, friendship, and trust."

"I could say the same for you," I reply, my voice tentative and low.

"I must go now, but I hope we can talk soon. Thank you for forgiving me. I can't tell you, I just can't, how much I'm thankful."

"Goodbye, Peeta."

"Goodbye, Catnip."

* * *

Peeta turns his head towards me, his eyes flashing and glimmering. "I told you it would go alright," he murmurs.

"I wasn't sure. Now I am," I tell him.

"Letter?" he asks.

"Why not?" I reply.

* * *

He pulls one out from his pocket. "You were prepared, I see," I say, with a grin. He flashes a grin back at me. "Of course," he tells me. He opens the envelope. "Ready?" he asks cheekily, holding out the letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_The parachutes, I saw them go off, a few blocks away from the site. Are you okay? You will survive. You are strong. She, Prim, she died a warrior's death. She was prepared for this. _

Peeta interrupts my reading as he asks, "Are you okay with reading this one?" I nod. I have to face my fears if I want to move on.

_She knew the consequences of fighting the battle. She knew what she was doing; she was clever. She died helping others. Katniss, I know. I understand. Losing your family, I've been through it as well. Maybe I don't feel the entire grief and pain of it with my disfigured memories, but it hurt as well. You can talk to me if you would like. I know the pain of losing someone who you loved. I've lost some who are still living. One day, we'll remember her in solemn. We will mourn her now, but later, we will look back, thinking of only happy memories. This is my advice from me to you. I know, you might not want to trust or believe me, but I just hope you will._

_Love,_

_Peeta_

* * *

"Thank you," I whisper, tears slowly flowing from my eyes. "I wouldn't have moved on without you."

Peeta reaches out to wipe my tears. "No, thank _you_," he whispers.

"You don't know how much I owe you," I sob, tears choking my voice.

"I owe you as well," he tells me, voice quiet and low.

"I owe everyone so much. Haymitch, you, Annie, Finnick, Prim, Gale, Johanna, Rue, dad, they were too good for me. I will never repay them."

"It's going to be alright. You faced your fears; you are strong, Katniss. We'll face both of our fears together," Peeta says.

Maybe we will. I've already overcome so much. I start to believe his words. It'll be all right.


	39. Dandelion

Dandelion

* * *

_"What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on. And only Peeta can give me that."_

* * *

"Do you want to take a trip to the Meadow?" Peeta asks. "I'll bring some food."

"Cheese buns?" I playfully inquire.

Peeta smirks. "Of course. Why don't you go over to the Meadow first? I'll stop by the bakery to pick up the cheese buns.

"Alright, I'll be on my way. Just got to find something first."

Peeta walks out the door with a subtle wave. "See you there," he says, with a grin.

I take a letter from the top of the pile and shove into my jacket pocket. I hurry out the door.

Haymitch is outside feeding the geese. "Where are you off to now, honey?

"Off to the Meadow with Peeta," I reply. Haymitch smiles, a genuine, real smile. The world is slowly piecing itself back together; even if wasn't together in the first place.

* * *

On my way to the Meadow, I spot other families in the Victor's Village. Little children gape at me as they whisper, "It's Katniss." Mothers clamp their mouths with petite hands, but I reward them with a smile anyways. The streets are swarming with vendors, traders, and passerbyers. Whispers follow me, but I don't mind.

I see Peeta's figure in the distance as I approach the Meadow. In his right hand he grasps a wooden picnic basket, and in his left hand, he holds a bouquet of flowers.

"What kind?" I ask, as I come closer to him, pointing to the flowers in his hand.

"Hm? Oh, they're just some wildflowers I found at the edge of the forest. Nothing too special."

I kiss him on the cheek. "It was well thought out, Peeta. That's what makes it special."

"Did Katniss, Katniss _Everdeen_, just kiss me on the cheek?" Peeta playfully teases me.

"Shut up," I grumble, with a slight smile peeking up from my lips.

"Cheese bun?" Peeta asks, while holding up the picnic basket.

"Letter?" I imitate him, holding up the letter.

Peeta replies, "Sure."

* * *

He pulls two cheese buns out of the basket, and I fold open the letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_You were gone for a while. It was a few days until I heard about you. Dr. Aurelius tells me you're his patient now. He's my therapist as well. He's a good guy, Katniss; he only wants to help you. Don't turn him away; in the long run, it'll help. I see you sometimes in the hospital ward now. They keep us apart, but I only want to be near you. You helped me so much during the Rebellion, and I think I could help you. I'm telling you again, Katniss, I might not remember much about my past life, but I do remember somethings, like my family, and how they're gone now. We share similar experiences. I understand your grief. Prim was really the sister I never had. She really was. She helped me so much during my rehabilitation. I can understand your grief; I've mourned her death ever since it happened. Katniss, you're not the only one out there. I'm there too. _

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

"Prim," I stutter, "She helped you get better?"

"She did. She would talk to me for hours, trying to get some of my memories back. She was always so kind, understanding, and supportive."

"She was a good little girl," I murmur.

"Don't cry," Peeta whispers, as he reaches out to cup my cheek.

"I'm not, I'm remembering all of the good times we shared."

"Remember, she's made this world a better place, and now she's in a better place."

"It seemed like life wouldn't go on without my little duck."

"It seemed like that as well when they took me away from you during the arena, but life did go on right?"

"It did."

"Look, Katniss," Peeta says. He points to a dandelion. "Remember this?"

I nod.

"Life will go on," Peeta tells me. He picks it and tucks it behind my right ear. "Remember that."

We sit there, talking. We watch the sunset. We watch the colors fade into a dark, midnight color. Even then, we don't go home. We lie down on our backs, and count as many stars as we can. We find constellations. We swap stories. We finish the cheese buns. When we begin yawning, we walk home. We go to sleep together, his arms protectively wrapped around my waist.

Peeta is my dandelion. He has been here all along. He has always came back to me, and he has always been a sign better things will come along.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading this fluff-filled chapter! I hope you enjoyed it. My goal is for every single event from Peeta's return from the Capitol to Peeta's return to District 12 to be captured in a letter, and my goal is almost finished. Again, I couldn't ask for better readers and reviewers. Have a fantastic day!**


	40. Real

Real

* * *

_"So after, when he whispers, 'You love me. Real or not real?' I tell him, 'Real.'"_

* * *

Peeta fluffs my pillow and tucks me into bed. He plants a kiss onto my forehead. "You're too good for me," I mumble. "Anything for you, Katniss," he replies. I manage to roll my eyes and smile at the same time. Peeta, he makes me feel something different…a sense of protection and love, something I haven't felt since my father died. Even Gale couldn't entirely give me that, but yet Peeta did. He always have, even if I haven't always realized it.

He wraps me in his arms. Another kiss is planted onto my cheek. "Goodnight, Katniss," Peeta whispers.

"Goodnight," I tell him.

The lights are turned off, the curtains are drawn, and we attempt to fight the demons inside of ourselves again. Tonight there is no struggle, with Peeta by my side. There hasn't been one for a while, not since I've moved in with Peeta.

* * *

When the day turns light again, Peeta lightly shakes me by the shoulders. "Wake up, sleepyhead!" he chirps. "A few more minutes, please," I grumble into my pillow. My response reminds me of the few fictions I've read that took place before the birth of Panem. What was it like back then? Before Panem? I bet it was no better, since we evolved from those creatures. Perhaps we got our sense of destruction and war from them.

"Why are you up so late?" I ask, rubbing my eyes. "Shouldn't you be at the bakery?"

"Celandine offered to take the morning shift. I'll be going down to the bakery around lunch," he replies. "In the meantime, would you like to go somewhere?"

"Go where? District 12 isn't the biggest place to explore," I tell him, jokingly.

"Why not we stop by the shops in town?" Peeta suggests. "We can buy some groceries and just take some time to relax."

I nod in agreement.

"I already got a letter," Peeta says, holding it up in his hand. He knows me too well, doesn't he?

It almost seems like a daily routine, walking with Peeta. The same walk from the Victor's Village, while the same everyday, never seems to become tedious. Our conversations vary and the setting seems a little brighter every day.

The grocer's is our first stop. Cartons full of fresh fruit and vegetables are laid out in front of the quaint little shop. We never got to afford these when I was a child. If we saved up money for a while, we could barely make ends meet and buy one of them. I was more grateful than ever when we did.

Peeta begins filling up a basket with various treats. Oranges, apples, bananas, some I couldn't even name. "How are we going to finish all these?" I ask him. "We can always give some to the bakery," he tells me.

After we pay, Peeta asks me, "Do you want to sit down? We can eat some of the things I bought and read a letter, I suppose."

I grab an orange from the basket and plop onto the bench besides me. "Definitely."

* * *

He too grabs an orange. I fold open the letter and begin reading.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Snow and Coin are gone, dead, eradicated. You may never believe this, but you did good, Katniss. No child will ever enter the Games again. No family will ever be broken and torn apart again because of the Games. You've made a difference. Everything is better because of you. I know my life is. I am forbidden to talk to you now. They say it's not good for me or you. They say you're gone, that there's no life or hope in you. I don't believe a single word of it. They said that about me as well, and I'm gradually getting better. Katniss, you always focus on the negatives. You focus on all the problems you've made, when you should really be focusing on all the solutions you've made. I'm a prime example of a person you've changed in your life, and for the good. It might not seem like it Katniss, but I really do care about you._

_Sincerely,_

_Peeta_

* * *

"If only you told me that earlier," I mumble under my breath. "Maybe then I would've gotten better."

Peeta tips my chin up so I look into his eyes. "But you are better now. Physically, emotionally, and mentally."

I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe," I tell him.

"Look how happy they are," Peeta says, signaling to the children giggling and chasing each other in the Meadow. "They're happy now. They won't have to ever face the Games."

I sigh.

"I believe in you," he says.

"I believe in you as well," I reply.

"Real or not real, you haven't had a nightmare in days?" he asks.

I smile. Our old game. "Real."

He grins. "Real or not real, you've felt happier than you ever have?"

"Real."

"Real or not real, you look forward to the next day?"

"Real."

"Real or not real, you've made new friends?"

"Real," I say, thinking of Celandine.

"Real or not real, you smile more often?"

"Real."

In an underlying voice now, he whispers to me, "Real or not real, you love me?"

My throat nearly clogs up. It's time, time to tell him how I feel. This moment, I've been anticipating it for months. Now or never.

"Real, Peeta. That will always be real."

He kisses me, straightforward and on the lips. "It will always be real for me too."

* * *

**A/N: This is the official ending of our little story. Don't worry, there will be an epilogue! And also, I'll be revising earlier chapters so there will be more details and descriptions, so make sure to check my profile for chapter updates! I'm so sad to see this story go, but there will definitely be more (like my prequel)! Thank you again, and I will see you in the near time future with my epilogue! **


	41. Epilogue

A Forever Promise

* * *

_"We have each other."_

* * *

_One year later…_

I sit with my arms crossed on the sofa, legs stretched out on Peeta's lap. "What do you want to do today?" I ask nonchalantly. "You're not working today, right?"

"Right. Got Celandine and her sister to take over the bakery today," Peeta replies. "I was thinking we could go down to the lake."

"The one in the forest? We haven't been there in ages."

"Which is why I suggested we do so. We can have a picnic and everything."

"Sounds good," I tell Peeta.

"Do you want to head on over to the lake first? I'll need to stop by the bakery to get some goods and to see how everything's going."

I nod. Some quality alone time with myself is sometimes hard to find now.

So much has changed within the last few years. A name, a mere two words changed my life. _Primrose Everdeen._ Effie's words still ring in my ears. Later, it was a rose. A rose changed everything. And then after that, it was just one word, real.

I still have my nightmares, and Peeta has his flashbacks, but it's better now. We have each other. My nightmares, they still continue to haunt me in both daylight and nighttime, but to know there is someone else who understands, it comforts me, in a way. As for Peeta, I know how to help when he has a flashback. I know how to prevent them. Peeta, he still tries to pull away when he has them, but he always comes back in the end. Some promises were simply made to be broken.

* * *

When I approach the fence, a little girl shyly walks up to me.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen?" she asks, pulling on what seems to be a minature model of my braid.

"Yes, I am," I tell her, trying to be as nice as possible.

"My mommy says you a brave girl. She says you saved us," she tells me.

"Tell your mommy I say thank you," I say.

She nods and runs away.

Am I really a hero? Am I really that brave? I never perceived myself as any of these things, despite what others have told me.

I open up the new gate in the fence. District 12 had the fence remodeled so it could never have electricity pulsing through it again. The gate was added on my request during the modeling, so I and the other hunters in the area could have easier access. It's not my sacred spot that used to only belong to my father and me now, but it was for the better.

I take the three-quarter mile trek down to the lake. District 12 has changed so much, yet the forest has remained nearly the same. The same chittering birds, the same green forestry, the same fresh smell of rain is still here. Some things will always stay with you.

The surroundings at the lake are serene. I watch the fish swim, and the ducks bob for scurrying minnows and katnisses. I reminiscence of the times when my father and I used to come down here to fish. Before, I would look back sadly, longing for the comfort of my father, but now, I look back with more of a sense of pride, happy that I had chance to do so.

Loud footsteps and the crackles of leaves snap me from my thoughts. There's only one person who walks that loud. I smile to myself.

Peeta stumbles over, with a picnic basket looped over his arm. He plops down on a rock besides me. "Look what I brought for you," he says, grinning.

I peek into the basket, finding two cheesebuns, a loaf of bread, a new jar of homemade strawberry jam, and a plethora of strawberries. "You spoil me," I whisper to Peeta.

"It's my pleasure," he replies.

We nibble on the cheesebuns, spread hefty amounts of jam onto slices of bread, and pop strawberries into each other's mouths. We chat about everything, the bakery's sales, the growth of Annie's son, the constant arrival of new neighbors. When we're done, he pulls out a piece of paper from his jacket.

"A letter?" I ask. "I haven't read one in nearly a year."

* * *

He nods. I slowly open the letter.

_Dear Katniss,_

_Real or not real, you would marry me? _

_Love,_

_Peeta_

I look up at Peeta, who holds a simple gold band in his hand, engraved with the word "Always."

Marriage, it was a topic that had haunted me since my father's death. My mother, who had been happily in love since she met my father, had been torn apart by the death of her partner. I swore to myself that I would never become her, that I would always stay strong by living a romance-free life. I never understood the prospect of marriage. Why would the simple act of a paper and a few signatures impact the relationship one was in? I always thought that if a couple was truly in love, they would stay committed by the simple act of love, not by an elaborate wedding or a paper.

I understand now, in just a mere matter of seconds. Love stretches to all boundaries, and marriage can only define that. My mother, broken by my father's death, could not accept the fact that life goes on, even after death. I accept Peeta's offer, knowing one day we will be split apart, on our will or not.

"Real," I tell Peeta, reaching out for his hands.

He simply smiles, too overcome with joy.

* * *

_Twenty years later…_

"Mama, Mama," she shouts from the side of the house. "Look, I'm starting to bloom!

I rush over to my now five-year old daughter. She points to the primroses on the side of the house, buds beginning to open. I look over at her. She flashes a grin back at me. All these years, and the primroses Peeta once planted are still here. My daughter, Primrose, is here too.

I lead her back to the house, telling her that soon enough, the buds will bloom, and the primroses will grow big and strong. "Just like you," I say.

In the house, Peeta and Haymitch chat about the geese Haymitch continues to raise. "Grandpa Haymitch!" Prim shouts, twirling a piece of her chocolate-brown hair, which she inherited from me. "The primroses are starting to bloom, and Mama says soon enough they'll get really big!"

He smiles. "They will, and then we can pick them."

As Prim turns away to share the news with her younger brother, a mere age of two, Haymitch mutters, "So now I'm the grandpa. I didn't realize I was that old."

Peeta chuckles. "Face it, old man." Haymitch gives him one of his famous scowls.

* * *

Who knew that one day I would grow up to have a husband and two children? If I had been told of my life when I was sixteen, I wouldn't have believed it. I would have scowled and said to feed another poor girl a lie.

Life goes on. We still mourn the deaths of those lost in the Rebellion, but I have learned that I cannot spend my life fixing mistakes that have already been made. There is not enough time in this world to linger.

I am still the young sixteen-year-old girl inside, burning with anger and fear. I have learned to control it. Peeta is still the kind yet bashful person the Capitol carefully designed. Haymitch is still the alcoholic who barely drags himself over to the kitchen for food. Everything is the same, yet everything has changed.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading. It has been an amazing journey. Seventy pages on word, about thirty-three thousand words, fourty one chapters. This story has come a long way. My prequel to this story will come out very soon, hopefully next week, so I highly recommend putting me on author alert, or at least checking out my profile for updates. I am working on a few other projects, most of them being Hunger Games stories, so I would appreciate that my readers would check them out. Again, thank you. I couldn't have asked for better readers.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or any of the copyrighted material associated with it.**


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